6/04/2011

Man of Steel

Story Sent in by Graham:

I met Audrey online. She said that she was a "found art" sculptor, which meant, by her definition, that she would take discarded junk and assemble it into something "beautiful," as she put it. She sent me a photo of her standing next to one such piece of art. It was tall and well-made, and included tires, scrap metal, and wiring.

"That one took me six months to plan and execute," she told me.

I was so impressed that before our date, I asked her to bring her portfolio. Instead, she invited me to visit her studio space after our dinner together.

Dinner went well. We predominately talked about her artwork. Afterward, I followed her to her studio, adjoining a local college.

We went in and she showed me her works. They all looked like glued-together piles of filthy junk — nothing like the first impressive piece that she showed me.

I asked her, "Where's that first piece, the tall one in that first photo that you sent me?"

She replied, "Oh, that's not mine. That's some other guy's."

"You told me it was yours. You said it took you six months."

She shrugged. "Oops."

I didn't say much else after that, and I didn't have a chance, because soon after, I backed into a precariously balanced steel sculpture that smashed to the ground, breaking into three pieces.

Audrey gasped and yelled, "You idiot! That isn't mine!"

I bent down to try and pick up the pieces, but she yelled in my face, "You ruined it! Get out! Get out! Did you hear me? Get out!"

She was in a terrible, shrieking state. I left and never heard from her again.

30 comments:

  1. Form without function is bad enough, but without even form? The things people pass off as being constructive these days.

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  2. So are you saying you would not go out with her again?

    picklesinmyass.blogspot.com

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  3. So are you saying I didn't even read this story and just posted something so I can promote my stupid blog?

    shutupaboutyourpicklesalready.com

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  4. I don't mean to feed the troll (honest I don't!) but can't we disable her account or something? Wasn't that the whole point of having to register in the first place?

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  5. Why are you being so mean? I was having fun coming on here reading stories and you are acting rude. I thought this was a public blog? :(

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  6. It is a public blog, but people get sick of anyone posting their own blog address.

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  7. The envy is as green as her pickles.

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  8. You see those banners JMG has on this page? That's where ads go. All ads. None go in the comments section.

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  9. Mrs Pickles is great at reading posts and responding. Her blogs shock the he'll outta me, but I personally love when she takes the time to comment on mine. And what's wrong with posting your blog address? I've found some of the best blogs to read that way...and the nicest people.
    And btw, are you sure you don't want to go out with sculpture girl again? I bet she could find a really nice piece of someone else's artwork for you.
    :-)

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  10. Somehow, I doubt she'd be picked on so much if it didn't look like she makes every comment just to advertise her blog.

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  11. All of her comments are all one-liners that seem to be there only so she could promote her blog. Granted sometimes I'll write a comment that's a single sentence, but usually they're something more than "The date seemed cool" or "What a weirdo". I try to put substance into my comments, as do most others here.

    Also, we told her more nicely before that we were getting tired of seeing her post her blog address and that once is enough, yet she completely ignored us. Not even a, "Sorry, I don't care what you want". Nothing. That implies that she is a troll who is just here to annoy people. Just sayin' :-/

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  12. If anyone is curious to see an excerpt of Pickle's blog as to what is so 'shocking' then check out this previous thread of comments where this has already been discussed:

    http://www.abadcaseofthedates.com/2011/05/swear-by-stars.html#comments

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  13. Many people here have links, which means that if someone seems interesting to a reader, that reader can click through and discover what's at the link. Key word: interesting.

    I find pickles as strident as everyone else does, but her blog is mildly amusing.

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  14. Pickles' blog is better than this one. Just sayin'. You may continue flaming now.

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  15. So then some chick by the name of Cunt Lulu comes and says,” So are you saying I didn't even read this story and just posted something so I can promote my stupid blog?”

    shutupaboutyourpicklesalready.com

    Then some other bitch lady by the name of Connie says, “I don't mean to feed the troll (honest I don't!) But can't we disable her account or something? Wasn't that the whole point of having to register in the first place?”

    If you do not want just anyone to be able to make comments on your blog, then change your fucking settings! I am confused as to why the hell people get so annoyed that I put my blog address up after I make a comment. I am new to the blogging world so how else am I supposed to spread the fucking word that my blog is fantastic?

    If you do not like or approve of my comments or personality, then look the other way. We are not all going to mesh with everyone’s personality on here. So pull up your big kid pants and deal with it! It is sad that so many people out there do not have a sense of humor.

    I do not twist anyone’s arm and make them come to my blog. It is a choice they make. I have had a lot of haters and so I have decided to draw a picture for them. But more importantly, this picture is made fore Lulu and Connie. I really hope they like it because I worked hard on it!

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  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  17. ^ For the mean-spirited and simple-minded, perhaps.

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  18. What a sly one. I've heard a story similar to that one from my friend when a girl sent him a picture or 'her' and she was gorgeous, so being a guy he asked her out yet when the date happened she looked NOTHING like the person she'd sent him in the picture and claimed she sent the wrong photo!

    But yeah, sculpture stealing lady seems like a psycho. Good post though!

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  19. Pickle...whatever - Your blog is vapid crap with zero depth that sounds as though it's written by an already used up 11 year old who believes she's being sexually revolutionizing and interesting by just talking about sexual topics.

    Looking forward to seeing the crayon drawing of me with one of your more colorful "big word" descriptors. "Cunt" is so choice. Groundbreaking, honestly.

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  20. I couldn't figure out why so many of her followers suddenly were on this site. She wrote a post about Connie and Lulu! HAHA!

    "So I have been following a blog http://www.abadcaseofthedates.com. It has been a lot of fun to read and I enjoy making comments on it. I admit that some of them are sarcastic. But that is just my personality and I think a lot of people take it the wrong way.

    A guy came on telling about a bad date that he had gone on. So to joke around and be sarcastic I made a comment to the post and said
    ” So are you saying you would not go out with her again?”

    picklesinmyass.blogspot.com

    So then some chick by the name of Cunt Lulu comes and says,” So are you saying I didn't even read this story and just posted something so I can promote my stupid blog?”

    shutupaboutyourpicklesalready.com

    Then some other bitch lady by the name of Connie says, “I don't mean to feed the troll (honest I don't!) But can't we disable her account or something? Wasn't that the whole point of having to register in the first place?”

    If you do not want just anyone to be able to make comments on your blog, then change your fucking settings! I am confused as to why the hell people get so annoyed that I put my blog address up after I make a comment. I am new to the blogging world so how else am I supposed to spread the fucking word that my blog is fantastic?

    If you do not like or approve of my comments or personality, then look the other way. We are not all going to mesh with everyone’s personality on here. So pull up your big kid pants and deal with it! It is sad that so many people out there do not have a sense of humor.

    I do not twist anyone’s arm and make them come to my blog. It is a choice they make. I have had a lot of haters and so I have decided to draw a picture for them. But more importantly, this picture is made fore Lulu and Connie. I really hope they like it because I worked hard on it!"

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  21. Is it me or did Mrs. Pickles call in reinforcements to this site just to say how great her blog is. I don't know about you but I've never seen some of these people comment on here before.

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  22. ^Exactly.

    She finally decides to comment on us bitching at her, just in time for her to be backed up by a couple of unknowns? Bullsh*t.

    She doesn't belong here and neither do they.

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  23. ^^ You're not the only one who noticed. She probably posted an entry about it or something. "So, lyke, OMG, these peeple on this, lyke, blog r, lyke, totally mean 2 me!"

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  24. I don't like seeing other blogs advertised every post, but her posts are no more or less interesting than everyone elses here... People need to step away from the picklehate, the bitching about it has become more annoying than the blog links.

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  25. ^ Bullshit.

    Her single line, one-dimensional posts are not funny, not part of a debate or conversation being held within the comments section, and only show the vapid thought process of a six year old.

    To which I must apologize to six year olds because even they show more creativity in a finger painting than she has in her entire writing "career".

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  26. Well, since we're all pimpin'/hatin' on blogs, and since this date is actually about something relevant to my interests (found art sculpture/assemblage), why not take a second to check out the sculpture I made for a class and then either praise or hate on it? At least it'll get my hit count up. :P

    http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=199933983384070&set=a.180576765319792.40821.104299932947476&type=1

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  27. Looks cool by the way. Wish I had a talent for the arts, but I suck. XD

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  28. Hahaha, nice Nikki, it reminds me of Jersey Shore meets Mardi Gras!!

    And I'm sorry, Pickle's Blog? HATED IT!

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  29. Gracias to Baku and SmallCityGirl. That damn thing took me FOR-FRICKIN-EVER to make, and the construction of it kept defying me at every turn. But it's done, and now the Women's Center at Loyola is "adopting" it and even having an unveiling for it in the fall! *high fives self*

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