tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post1673627572648579151..comments2023-10-10T12:33:43.016-04:00Comments on A Bad Case of the Dates: The Longest DroughtJMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18362998962851574254noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-67626323517759020212016-10-08T15:30:27.538-04:002016-10-08T15:30:27.538-04:00I agree with you on most points. There are far mor...I agree with you on most points. There are far more tactful ways of turning down sex than outright stating an arbitrary limit, especially on the first date. Personally, I would take it as a round a bout way of saying that I was too ugly and I'd probably resent them enough not to want a second date, certainly enough to want to split the check. Ipdarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17530108146106870282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-70850345488795914452016-10-08T08:16:06.062-04:002016-10-08T08:16:06.062-04:00Where exactly does he mention sex? Oh, right, afte...Where exactly does he mention sex? Oh, right, after she mentioned that her policy is not to sleep with someone for a year. What do you expect him to do? She put that topic on the table and he's not allowed to ask her about it? Sounds strange to me Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02885119248169343508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-57203067167798077592016-10-08T02:08:41.100-04:002016-10-08T02:08:41.100-04:00If he mentions sex on the first date at all, it...If he mentions sex on the first date at all, it's pretty much a deal breaker anyway in my book, so I have a difficult time thinking of OP as anything but only after one thing. Yes, a year is definitely extreme, but it strikes me more as a reflex thing to blurt out to end the date and reveal what kind of person the date really is by their reaction. And so we saw - expectations about when fornicating will occur, man becomes angry enough about it to violate social norms, come off as a bit of a tool, and posts about it on the internet.frvrlvr@gmail.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03188866421781852614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-62681482190827582652016-10-08T02:00:48.497-04:002016-10-08T02:00:48.497-04:00Like to add some lurker love for Wolfdreams. :)Like to add some lurker love for Wolfdreams. :)frvrlvr@gmail.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03188866421781852614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-4866273272158510282016-10-07T23:56:06.170-04:002016-10-07T23:56:06.170-04:00Surely you're not going to bring up your need ...Surely you're not going to bring up your need for marriage on the first date? That kind of information isn't required between two strangers. Because that's what you are on a first date; STRANGERS. Why not find out if you genuinely like the person first?? I always knew that kids were in my future; but did I feel the urge to disclose that to every guy I went out with, and on the first date? No way.Lloyd "Roid" Hoythttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06219263218599089078noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-29784199973077765572016-10-07T22:30:20.675-04:002016-10-07T22:30:20.675-04:00Dammit, I had a really great reply to add to this ...Dammit, I had a really great reply to add to this comment (*mostly* to Steve). But you work for 20 hours straight and you forget that you even had an independent thought and then you log in and tell yourself you have to be the early bird, where the hell was I going with this?<br /><br />Well, whatever. I happen to agree with Bob, but as a Perpetual Spinster(TM), I absolutely know better than to ever go on a date (especially a first date) without a means of payment and absolutely would never let the check arrive without sincerely offering to pay for my half. But I think it says a lot when the person who did the inviting pays, about their character and their background, and also gives some insight into how they feel the date is going. <br /><br />But again, I'm a Perpetual Spinster(TM), so maybe don't take my opinions too seriously. <br /><br />Also, I feel like maybe I settled for my screen name. It totally should have been Perpetual Spinster(TM).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-68896854593967940492016-10-07T16:00:08.592-04:002016-10-07T16:00:08.592-04:00After having a day to think it over (man I need a ...After having a day to think it over (man I need a life), I think they were both pretty stupid to set these ridiculous ultimatums in the first place (Her: "I absolutely will not sleep with anyone for the first year." Him: "I absolutely will not pay for a dates's dinner unless she's willing to mess around with me.") I mean, how hard is it to start off the conversation with "I'd like to know your thoughts on sex in a relationship, if this is going to go anywhere. I have a rule about not messing around for the first year. How do you feel about that?" "Actually, that's kind of a deal breaker for me. Are you willing to reconsider your stance on that?" "No." "OK, I'm afraid we're not compatible. Let's split the check and just remain friends."<br />Of course, wouldn't be much of a story for ABCOTD.Adivahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08474742956108088837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-17308137827448586192016-10-07T12:51:11.820-04:002016-10-07T12:51:11.820-04:00Would that not be wasting their time? I want to ge...Would that not be wasting their time? I want to get married and if I'd been on a few dates with someone before they dropped the no-marriage bomb then I'd feel like they had lied to me.Gaga_Binkshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04115201468488741130noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-46737610036922398022016-10-07T12:11:42.653-04:002016-10-07T12:11:42.653-04:00I'm surprised so many think she should have me...I'm surprised so many think she should have mentioned her rule before meeting... personally, if I had a rule like that I'd wait a few dates before I brought it up. When/if sex will happen just doesn't seem like first date conversation. I agree with Lloyd, you bring up potential dealbreakers after getting to know each other a bit. That way they can weigh that negative thing against the good things they already like about you and see if it's worth it. Ashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16155478241332040118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-13900133761480808992016-10-07T07:46:13.625-04:002016-10-07T07:46:13.625-04:00That was some seriously impressive maneuvering Bob...That was <a href="https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/10/daily-morning-awesomeness-40-photos-21.gif?w=260" rel="nofollow">some seriously impressive maneuvering</a> Bob. The Architecthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05380470624299599025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-15069321114460172452016-10-07T06:01:26.952-04:002016-10-07T06:01:26.952-04:00Melanie: He said he saw no reason to pay for the m...Melanie: He said he saw no reason to pay for the meal because he didn't see their relationship go anywhere. Yes, part of the reason is that she said "no sexy time for a year". He never said that he'd expect her to have sex with him that night.<br /><br />As I said, her saying "no sex for a whole year" strikes me as childish. She is playing games and putting herself onto a pedestal, testing people. Relationships are quite unique and no relationships is like the other. And yes wanting to have sex is one reason to be in a relationship. He even asked "what if it's going really well?" - relationships have their own dynamic and having strict rules like that chokes a relationship to death in my eyes. Come on, a whole year? How would you behave if somebody told you "yeah, no sex for a whole year, simply because I'm testing you"? Would you want to be together with a person like that? Heck, their relationship, even if he was OK with moving forward with it, might not even last that long. <br /><br />He might have paid for dinner if he felt like the was any sense in seeing her again. That the reason was that she didn't sleep with him that night is totally your interpretation and not what he wrote. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02885119248169343508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-38223668949762681912016-10-07T05:59:31.417-04:002016-10-07T05:59:31.417-04:00I will admit (as I think that I tried to do in my ...I will admit (as I think that I tried to do in my initial comment but language and meaning are tricky) that my whole argument is premised upon an understanding (you invite me, then you pay; I invite you, I pay) that is not a cultural norm. If we accept that "I invite you out, I pay" as a first premise then OP is a jerk because he wanted to get to know her until he didn't like what he learned and then he broke the implicit promise. <br /><br />The problems with my argument are twofold: 1) not everyone agrees with the "I invite, I pay" rule so unless that's stated up front there is no agreement and I have no right to hold OP to it; and 2) we still are not positive who invited whom, so even accepting the rule it may not apply to OP at all.<br /><br />So, if you accept all my hypothetical facts overlaying what we do know, then I am right. Of course, if everyone is willing to do that, I want to add some additional made up facts; these are: 1) I could play professional hockey (if I wanted to), 2) I am very cool, and 3) I am not a lawyer. Please be guided accordingly.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-89396855196404573872016-10-07T00:12:27.453-04:002016-10-07T00:12:27.453-04:00I'm siding with the OP; his date's approac...I'm siding with the OP; his date's approach to the subject seemed childish and deliberately provocative. There was absolutely zero need to bring that up on a first date, unless he was trying to ravish her at the dinner table? Back when I was dating, if I saw a guy's ugly feet before I had the chance to get to know, like and lust him, those feet were a deal breaker. Don't present the ugly feet on a first date unless you know for a fact I want to see them. The OP's date not only showed him her ugly feet, she also flexed and curled her dirty toes up against his face. Lloyd "Roid" Hoythttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06219263218599089078noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-22989863811467426092016-10-06T18:17:52.406-04:002016-10-06T18:17:52.406-04:00I agree OP came off as a jerk but he wasn't in...I agree OP came off as a jerk but he wasn't in the wrong with what he did either Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16100705093341214580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-45191378983927635092016-10-06T16:31:06.522-04:002016-10-06T16:31:06.522-04:00After reading the comments I have to change my min...After reading the comments I have to change my mind that it now seems that date was most likely a dinner whOre,and a bad one at that or else she would not have mentioned that no sex for a year rule till after OP paid for dinner.I guess she was expecting her winning personality to win OP over...I still don't feel bad for either one but now think she is really the one at fault here.for some reason,it is something Op said that sill rubs me the wrong way but dinner hos have to go!MelSleepshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08330909273946812673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-2945165543501993522016-10-06T16:21:31.747-04:002016-10-06T16:21:31.747-04:00Howie, yes, wolfdream, no.Howie, yes, wolfdream, no.J.L. Reynoldshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01353143782869900195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-61411136390772973812016-10-06T15:21:11.564-04:002016-10-06T15:21:11.564-04:00C-C-C-C-C Combo BREAKER!C-C-C-C-C Combo BREAKER!The Architecthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05380470624299599025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-50488399776831103722016-10-06T15:07:45.747-04:002016-10-06T15:07:45.747-04:00Meckalecka high, Mecka hynie ho.
wait, did I do ...Meckalecka high, Mecka hynie ho. <br /><br />wait, did I do it wrong? Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16100705093341214580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-29506857364471506002016-10-06T13:56:25.901-04:002016-10-06T13:56:25.901-04:00She waited until dinner to spring her no sex for a...She waited until dinner to spring her no sex for a year policy on him. At which time he should have let her know about his only splitting dinner checks for a year policy. Dinner wh0re gets what dinner wh0re deserves.Sorry Charliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01348280881736258589noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-1241190894674451302016-10-06T12:31:25.150-04:002016-10-06T12:31:25.150-04:00I'm 90% sure that KatieGirl is pregnant in som...I'm 90% sure that KatieGirl is pregnant in some trailer park right about now...Stevehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18116238257904876572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-26273394668165704162016-10-06T12:14:39.232-04:002016-10-06T12:14:39.232-04:00No Sascha,the only reason why OP wanted to split t...No Sascha,the only reason why OP wanted to split the check was because he stated that it was because he was not getting any.In other words if the date did not drop the no sex for a year bombshell on Op he would of paid for the date.Both of them had expectations but the date's was a very high expectation.I have always offered to split the check or even pay the full check but the guy always insisted.In return I would give a gift such as a nice bottle of scotch or such.I don't like meal whores or guys that expect something in return so I shake my head at both.We don't know who made the dinner plans but usually if a man asks a woman out and makes the plans then I can see why the woman might think he will pay for it.By his words,it seems like he had intended to pay for dinner until he found out access was denied.MelSleepshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08330909273946812673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-23513104970430171042016-10-06T11:20:59.030-04:002016-10-06T11:20:59.030-04:00I'm also agreeing with OP...she sounds like sh...I'm also agreeing with OP...she sounds like she's playing games. And who wants to wait a year for some boring missionary sex with some woman whose head isn't screwed on right. Alibiestuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05599992537311693272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-14835749006093697182016-10-06T10:25:44.654-04:002016-10-06T10:25:44.654-04:00^ Yippie<a href="http://66.media.tumblr.com/87c5daad20a5760ab46ffc21f1c6b8a3/tumblr_muqvfyGAS11ryu508o1_250.gif" rel="nofollow">^ Yippie</a>The Architecthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05380470624299599025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-15607101596814073322016-10-06T10:23:15.872-04:002016-10-06T10:23:15.872-04:00I miss Fizziks, Nikki, and Nom. Also Katie Girl, ...I miss Fizziks, Nikki, and Nom. Also Katie Girl, but for completely different reasons.The Architecthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05380470624299599025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186499665856075184.post-4563809426103065552016-10-06T10:13:01.634-04:002016-10-06T10:13:01.634-04:00^Yip^YipJMGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18362998962851574254noreply@blogger.com