4/22/2016

It Seems It's Where My Brain Is

(Click here to check out EPISODE ZERO, my new Star Wars comedy fan film! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Marie:

I'm a nurse. I went out on one date with Manuel and had a good enough time for there to be a second date. He came over to my place and we were going to watch a movie.

While we talked on my couch he abruptly excused himself to wander into my kitchen. When he emerged, he did it ass-first with his pants all the way down.

While waggling his naked ass in my general direction he said, "I have something on my ass. You're a nurse. Check it out?"

"Put your pants back on!" I shrieked.

He said, "But you're a nurse! You're supposed to help people!"

I said, "This is a date! Make a doctor's appointment if you're really concerned!"

He didn't say anything but remained there, rear-first. I said, "Will you please pull your pants back up?"

He said, "I kind of like having them off. The breeze feels nice."

I said, "Put them back on or get out!"

He grumbled and hiked his pants back up. I then told him, "You know what? I have something I forgot to do, so you have to leave. I'm sorry. Have a good day."

He left without any fuss, thank god.

8 comments:

  1. Good on you OP for kicking him out.

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  2. "The Naked Man" technique from How I Met Your Mother.

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  3. I think there might have been a little false advertising involved here.

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  4. He needed a colonoscopy. You can't blame him, Americans go to great lengths to obtain affordable health care.

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  5. Men these days must *really* be getting desperate to get laid, if they're trying these tactics on women.

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  6. A "good enough time" on a first date is not a good enough reason to bring an unpredictable near-stranger into your home. We're all alive by good luck alone - and then some go and lower their chances ! Sheesh.

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  7. This is why you don't invite a stranger to your home.

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