1/07/2012

Special Gifts and Special People

Story Sent in by Trudi:

As I waited outside of a restaurant, I received a call less then 10 minutes before my date with Jeremy. "Bad news," he said, "I lost my cell phone."

I replied, "You're calling me from your cell phone."

A pause, then, "Crap." He hung up. Assuming that the date was canceled, I went home, and that would have been that.

However, a couple of hours later, he called. "Sorry about before. What I meant to say was that I lost my mother's cell phone."

"Uh-huh. Better luck next time, Jeremy."

"No! Wait! I'm serious. I only just found it. Let me make it up to you."

"No, thanks."

He said, "It's too late, anyway. I already got you something awesome. You'll have to meet up with me to find out what it is."

"I appreciate it, but I don't really want anything from you. I'm going. Good night."

"Don't hang up!" he yelled. I hung up. He called me right back and left a voicemail: "If you ever hang up on me again, I swear to God you'll be sorry. Now I bought something nice for you and you're going to get it and that's all there is to it! Now tell me where to drop it off. I don't care if it's your house, your work, or under a rock in the woods. Just tell me where to put it and I swear you'll never hear from me again."

I ignored the message. He called about 30 more times and left variants of those statements. He also wrote me several messages about it. Eventually, the calls and messages stopped, and I guessed that finally, that would be the last I heard from him.

Nope. A year later, he found me on another dating site and deluged my inbox with messages about this "special gift" that he felt "awful" about not giving me. I wrote back a time and place where he could give it to me in person: a public park on a Saturday at noon.

Saturday at noon, I didn't show up. He called and called and called, but I didn't pick up. He wrote me a message, and I replied, "I don't know what happened. Must have been a miscommunication. How about this: I'll meet you in front of the Walmart tomorrow…"

The next day came and went. Phone calls and a message later, I wrote him back. "Yeah, I couldn't make it. Meet me at the fountain at the mall this Wednesday."

Wednesday came and went. He left me a voicemail that said, "Clearly you don't want this special present. I'm not going to contact you anymore about it, no matter how much you try to get in touch with me. If it was worth that much to you, you definitely would've picked it up from me by now."

It took him a while, but he finally got the point. Haven't heard from him since.

21 comments:

  1. I don't get why he pretended to lose his cell phone. If it was a way to cancel the date, why did he insist on seeing you? Confusing, at least to me.

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  2. Trudi, you handled yourself like a pro. For a minute I was starting to think you were gonna meet him after all. Glad you didn't.

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  3. "Don't hang up!" he yelled. I hung up.

    This line is pure Awesome. :-)

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  4. It was probably like the movie Seven. The gift was actually a head in a box in the middle if nowhere.

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  5. WHAT'S IN THE BAWX? WHAT'S IN THE BAWX?!?!

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  6. ^ A parallel universe?

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  7. I don't think he meant to cancel the original date. I think he accidentally double booked himself (with possibly another date) or something, then still wanted to see her later. Holy controlling stalkerness Batman.

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  8. Someone finally took the advice of man commenters here, I'm surprised.

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  9. ^^ that's what i was thinking, ashley. FINALLY a woman took some good advice

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  10. I wish she would have insisted he do a ransom style drop off in the park so we could know what the "gift" was...

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  11. --As I waited outside of a restaurant, I received a call less then 10 minutes before my date with Jeremy. "Bad news," he said, "I lost my cell phone."

    It should be THAN not THEN.

    This single grammatical error left me unable to fully appreciate the sheer brilliance of her jerking this stalker/shlub around x3.

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  12. @Clikki

    Yeah, we know it's a dick move, but it has been a scenario many a time called for by the commenters here. I think most of them are just happy somebody fulfilled it.

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  13. Re: dick move. Eh. Hypothetically (since this has never happened to me) I am an extremely nice and forgiving person, until I get the feeling that someone is stalking me, or even just won't take no for an answer. Then, my friends, the dick is on.

    Ha, I just heard that last phrase in my head to the tune of "The Heat is On." Still kind of works with the song too XD

    The dick is on, on the street
    Inside your head, on every beat
    And the beat's so loud, deep inside
    The pressure's high, just to stay alive
    'Cause the dick is on
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teljgwFfl94

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lime...I totally read "the dick is on" in that exact same way even before you mentioned "The Head is On."

      DICK BUDDIES!

      wait...

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  14. I'd be really curious to know what it was!

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    Replies
    1. Get ahold of him again so we can find out. muhahahahahaahahaha!

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  15. You're not the only one who thought that. :) OP should not have made appointments she wasn't going to keep.

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  16. 'but maybe a nice email saying, "I don't want to see your dick in a box. Please stop stalking me," would have sufficed?'

    A full year of not responding did not suffice. What makes you think one message would've?

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  17. It's possible he was trying to give you an extravagant gift to guilt you into sex.
    Good on you for standing up for yourself!

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