12/05/2017

Lock 'n Knock

Story Sent in by Rico:

Kerri and I were together for around a month when she called me up on a Tuesday night in a panic: "I'm locked out of my apartment and I'm naked!"

My first impulse was to ask her how it had happened but I understood that time is of the essence in such circumstances. She told me that she would wait for me in her building stairwell and so I grabbed a spare blanket and rushed over to her place, across town.

When I arrived and made it to the stairwell, there was no sign of Kerri. I called for her and then went to her apartment. She wasn't there so I called her phone. She picked up and asked, "What's up?" as calm as calm could be.

"What's up?" I repeated, "Last time we spoke you were naked and locked outside your apartment. Where are you?"

She said, "Oh. I got one of my neighbors to open the door. He's here now and I made hot cocoa and we're sort of cuddling, I guess. Speaking of which, I have to go. Toodles!" and then hung up.

I listened at her door for a bit and heard her laughing and talking inside with a guy. Not really content with the way things had worked out, I thought about knocking on her door but then had a better idea. I went back to my car and grabbed a paper clip that I had in my glove box. I bent off a straight piece from it, returned to her door, and slid it into her lock. Then I left.

Less than a half hour later I received a text from her: "DID U DO THIS TO MY DOOR???" I didn't respond and then a couple of minutes later I received, "U R WORSE THAN EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA! AND I'VE HAD EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA!"

I'll take her word for it.

*

The next post will be Friday.

4 comments:

  1. She was naked, but had her cell phone? I wonder where she carries that around in...

    I wonder if this is the same chick that left the guy while camping for another dude, because he couldn't make a campfire?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that guy had skinny arms. Totally deserved it.

      Delete
  2. He was already there screwing her. They came up with the idea to get you over there to find them out of pure spite. Just a theory.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That seems much more plausible than the story he was told.

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.