11/24/2017

Blackest Friday

Story Sent in by Cara:

I went to high school with Henry and he and I had dated here and there and made out a few times. The summer after we had graduated high school we hung out a lot and promised to stay in touch when we went off to college, and we did. When Thanksgiving break rolled around, he asked me if I wanted to go to the local strip mall on Black Friday. I liked people watching and so I was all in.

Our first stop was a pet store. Neither Henry nor I had any pets so I wasn't sure what he was doing in there. He led me down the chew toy aisle, grabbed a few stuffed toys, and shoved them down his pants.

"What're you doing?" I hissed at him. The guy was shoplifting in plain sight.

He said, "C'mere," and then grabbed me tight and kissed me. Then he said, "Next," and hurried out of the store.

He then led me into a bookstore, went down the sci-fi aisle, grabbed some paperback books, and stuffed them down his pants. "I'm holiday shopping," he explained to me right before grabbing me and kissing me again.

"You're shoplifting," I said.

"Quiet! You want people to hear? The point is for them to not know I'm doing it. What do you want?"

I said, "I want you to stop shoplifting."

He replied, "No, I mean what do you want for Christmas? Let's go get it. Now."

I said, "I want you to stop stealing from these stores."

He said, "A big-screen TV? Some really nice book? An iPhone? Just pick something."

I repeated, "I want you to stop stealing."

He said, "That's it? That's all you want for Christmas?"

"Yes."

He shrugged, said, "Okay," and pulled all the stuffed things and books out of his pants and left them in a pile in the aisle. He then said, "Find your own way home," and hurried away from me.

"I drove here myself!" I called after him. I then put the books back on the shelves and brought the stuffed toys (with some explanation) back to the pet store. For all I know, Henry went right back to those places on his own and re-stole everything, but at least he wouldn't do it with me in tow.

3 comments:

  1. The only thing I ever stole on a date was Bananas' heart...

    ReplyDelete

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