10/20/2017

Falling Shirt

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Story Sent in by Erin:

Drew's favorite topic was himself and he didn't let me forget it. He took me out to a hotel bar and talked all about how amazing his life was as a telecom service tech. He then told me that he almost invented the iPhone but didn't because he didn't want to be remembered for something so stupid. He then offered to jailbreak my phone using only the power of his mind. I politely refused him.

We had downed a couple of drinks each when he picked up his vodka tonic and said, "You know what's amazing? Liquid. Watch." He then poured most of his drink down the inside of his dress shirt.

I had to laugh. "What are you doing?"

He said, "Behold the power of liquid! In the wrong context it would look like I peed myself but since you know the truth, you now bear witness to the power of liquid."

I laughed at him a bit more then he said, "It would be nice if you did it, too. So I'm not the only one sitting here with a drink down my shirt."

I turned him down and then he said, "Maybe we can go to the bathroom here and have some fun. I know the bathrooms here well. No one ever goes in them."

Again I turned him down. He opened his wallet, put a few bills on the bar, and said, "Call me when you're fun," and then left.

I guess I'll never be fun.

*

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9 comments:

  1. Wait, what? The "Power of Liquid" was what now? Oh, I get it....*insert joke about his date getting wet for him here*

    ReplyDelete
  2. I jailbroke Bananas' old S4 using only the power of my mind. Then we had a mad, passionate lovemaking sesh.

    Ah, those were the days...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep... and I ain't givin' Jared no $2, neither!

      Delete
    2. That's okay. Give me $10.

      Delete
  3. With all my deductive powers, I believe he made the whole thing up about this so called "power of liquid" so he could bamboozle this girl into getting her blouse moist.

    I'd stake my reputation as a private eye on it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anyone else picturing Bananas is a sexy film noir kind of scene? Preferably with a fedora and a glass of bourbon, neat.

      Delete
    2. *heavy new York accent*

      "She was the most beautiful Dame I'd ever laid eyes on, but I knew that beauty brings trouble, and by the look in her eyes she had a lot to share. Her date had gone missing, see, and left her high and dry. I was the man hired to find the Tom."

      Delete
    3. *breathing heavily* Keep talking....

      Delete

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