8/23/2017

Zeus Lips Sink Ships

Story Sent in by Patrick:

Melissa and I were walking side by side and chatting on our first date and we made it to the topic of religion. I told her I was a non-practicing Catholic and she told me…

“I worship Zeus.”

I was sure she was kidding and asked, to clarify, “Zeus?”

She nodded and repeated, “Zeus. Lightning bolts. Karate chop!” and then chopped her hand right into my throat.

There was a lot of pain and then I coughed up a storm. She looked completely disinterested and asked, “Are you done yet, drama queen?”

I yelled, “How would you like me to kick your ass!?” I wouldn’t have touched her but I wanted to freak her out. She had just attacked me, after all.

She cowered and said, “Okay, psycho. Date over.” I couldn’t have said it better, myself.

10 comments:

  1. I hope this one is made up- it sounds a little off. :)

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  2. Like threatening her with violence (on a first date) was any better than what she did. SMH. Both OP and the date are tools.

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  3. She was saying "Jesus", not "Hey, Zeus"..

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  4. I like OP's honesty: he recognised that threatening violence was a douche bag thing to do. Which made him much better that Melissa who did not even acknowledge that she actually used physical violence...
    In a way, the worse thing OP did was not being clear about why he was angry to a girl who was obviously too thick to realise she's done something wrong.

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    Replies
    1. Better would have been to tell her it fucking hurt, that she is selfish and leave.

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    2. Yeah, but sometimes when we're in pain or feel threatened, our rational side refuses to come out.

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    3. Yep. Try to say: "excuse me madam, but your lack of apologies, let alone concerns, for the pain you inflicted upon me, although accidentally I assume, especially considering the intrinsic dangerous nature of a hit on the larynx, denotes a selfish or even egoistical nature, which would be incompatible with a mutually satisfactory relationship,wether romantic of friendly. Therefore, I'll terminate this date and leave at once. Kind regards" when in pain!

      Delete

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