6/20/2017

Found in Translation

Story Sent in by Nicholas:

I was in Japan for an academic conference when I met Marilyn. We discovered that we grew up within 10 miles of each other and even went to the same university. We had a lot more in common and so we stuck together for a lot of the time. Casual talking became flirting became kissing became her back in my hotel room.

When I woke the next morning, Marilyn and a lot of my paperwork were missing. I was in a near-panic and I called Marilyn only to have my calls go straight to voicemail. But moments later I received a text from her that said, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

I wrote her back and threatened that I would call the police and the conference organizers to report her conduct. She then wrote back, "Don't!!! I'll bring it to you at the hotel bar in 15 minutes."

I went to the bar. She never showed up. I wrote her, "Where are you?" and she wrote back, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

I reached out to the main conference organizer and gave her Marilyn's info. An hour later, Marilyn texted me, "Where are you? I'm at the bar."

She was indeed at the bar and I collected my stolen things from her. She barely said a word and took off. I'm glad that the whole thing had a happy ending.

8 comments:

  1. Marilyn is sadistic and a bully. Wonder how many times before she has done this. Next time op, use the room safe in case you're fooling with crazy.

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  2. What type of conference was this? What paperwork did she steal? Why was it so important to get it back? Why is Marilyn such a bitch? The world may never know the answers to these questions.

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    Replies
    1. I work in academia. The paperwork could have been a manuscript that the poster needed in order to present. It also might have contained a lot of research that the poster intended to publish in a book or journal article in the near future. For all he knew, Marilyn stole his notes so she could publish it instead.

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    2. Wow, you even answered my Marilyn is a bitch. Thank you!

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    3. That was my thought as I was reading - she is some competing researcher or something. Begs the question, is "My one-night-stand stole my homework!" a valid excuse?

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  3. See what happens when you stick your dick in the crazy? Do you want ants? Because THAT'S HOW YOU GET ANTS!

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  4. Post-coital guilt sure manifests itself in strange ways...

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  5. She stole his stuff so he'd have to call her up to get it back. Then they would laugh about it and she would turn up the charm so he asks her out again. I see no holes in her logic.

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