6/26/2017

And What Shape Are Bullets?

(Film Festival bound? What to keep in mind? Click here to find out on Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Jesse:

Samantha and I went to a boardwalk and she ordered a hot dog. Before eating it she informed me, "Just because I'm eating a hot dog doesn't mean I'm going to do anything for you. Get your mind out of the gutter."

My mind wasn't in the gutter. I ignored her comment and concentrated on my lunch.

When she was halfway through her hot dog she said, "I know what you're thinking. I told you to get your mind out of the gutter."

I spoke up, "I wasn't thinking anything. I'm just trying to enjoy my lunch."

"By imagining me doing gross stuff with you? Cut it out!"

"I'm not!"

She stuffed the rest of her hot dog into her maw and said, "That does it. I'm through with this. I can't even eat a hot dog without you going right to that. Adios."

She left me standing there. I was upset in the moment, but now it really seems I dodged a bullet.

6 comments:

  1. Is she playful or is she crazy or she both -- crayful? Who can tell?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Imagine the version of the story she told her friends...

    ReplyDelete
  3. God, it's like a dude can't drool and stare wide eyed in the direction of a woman eating a hot dog anymore!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I personally never saw the appeal... a woman ripping apart phallis-shaped flesh with her teeth ain't exactly a turn on for me...

      Popcicles, on the other hand...

      Delete
    2. You'd rather imagine our mouths melt lil Steve?

      Delete
    3. There's a horror movie waiting to happen.

      Delete

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