6/28/2017

A Few Inches Too Many

Story Sent in by Peter:

Sara insisted that we go to a Target for our first date. I wasn't sure why that seemed appropriate to her but I soon found out why. She took me to the electronics section, told me she needed a new TV, then cuddled up close and told me that she'd invite me over all the time and we could have "all kinds of fun" if I bought her a new 60".

I asked her if she'd settle for dinner. After some negotiation, she saw things my way. I took her out to an Italian place in a next-door strip mall, she moped the entire time, begged me to return to Target with her, and when I refused, she said, "I'll just find some other guy to bring home with me, then."

That was our only date.

10 comments:

  1. Students, students, please take a seat and quiet down.
    Professor Steve is now going to guest-lecture about the TV Wh0re and how she relates to the Dinner Wh0re.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *settles into chair attentively*
      Oh yeah, this is going to be good.

      Delete
    2. Actually, I fear this woman has tested as a false-positive for TV Wh0redness. In reality, she's most likely just a straight up prostitute...

      Delete
  2. Please OP, please tell me you didn't pay for dinner.

    You know, this girl is absolutely going to find someone to buy her a 60" TV.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can I get some nookie if I trash-pick her an old obsolete 60" Hitachi projection TV?!

      Delete
  3. Dinner whores are getting awfully ambitious!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, those curved 60" TVs aren't going to buy themselves.

      Or maybe, much like Darwin, we are witnessing an evolution of the Dinner Wh0re into something much more terrifying.

      Delete
  4. Should have taken her to Rent-A-Center. Is it OK if I pay weekly?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Why would he continue on with the date. Both are idiots.

    ReplyDelete

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