5/03/2017

Check the Funny Pages?

Story Sent in by Jack:

I thought it would be fun to take Gina out to a bar near my old high school. It was a place where I had enjoyed some good times in college. I knew the bartender, and I just thought it would be a fun night out.

While there we ordered drinks and a couple people I knew came in. I introduced Gina, she greeted them cordially, and we moved on. It was a date and I was there to be focused on her.

After a little bit my high school friend Courtney came in with a couple of guys. I introduced her to Gina, and Courtney and her friends went on their way to another table. I didn't think much of it. Then Gina asked, "Did you ever date her?"

"Briefly," I replied. It was in high school. A long time ago. Courtney and I were together for less than a month. We hadn't even done anything beyond make out.

Gina took that as her cue to stand up, stride over to Courtney, and slap her, full in the face.

One of Courtney's guy friends stood up immediately and shoved Gina away. Gina screamed bloody murder and someone shouted to call the police. Gina was my mess to clean up and I was ready to take responsibility but she cleared out of there without waiting for me or giving me any kind of explanation. Instead I went to Courtney and apologized about 500 times.

Long story short the cops weren't called, I ended up buying Courtney a few drinks, and we all went on our mostly-merry ways. As for Gina? I have no idea what happened to her.

30 comments:

  1. "I just thought it would be a fun night out" - more like, OP is a lazy, lazy fucking date.

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  2. "I took her to my Mum's because, well, I like the cooking, and I just thought it would be a fun date".

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  3. OP, you suck. I think it goes beyond lazy and cheap to take a date to a "high school" bar. I think you were planning on meeting friends, and not focusing on her. She was probably rightfully angry with you for this. I have a hard time actually believing she slapped your friend, and think it is more likely she just yelled at you and walked out. You sound super immature, and like the sort of person who would make this up to sound more dramatic. But if she did slap her, while that is seriously uncool, I am on her side anyway, just because you sound like a douche.

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    1. See my comment below. As far as we know, all the stories here could be made up and we wouldn't know. So to avoid the trap of always blaming OP no matter what happens because OP could lie, I believe we should take the story at face value, taking into account that the narrator can be subjective.

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  4. OP, you took your date out to what sounds like a chill, no-pressure place where you could talk to her and maybe introduce her to some cool people. Then you briefly greeted a friend and your date slapped her in an apparent fit of jealous, unbridled rage.

    Gosh what a tool you are, OP.

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    1. As the women above have noted, it's very difficult to get your dinner wh0re on at a high school bar. Heavens! They don't even serve lobster tail!

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    2. Yeah, I'm not getting the hate for taking a date to somewhere the OP is comfortable. Back when I was dating I took people to my favorite diner all the time. It was greasy, horrible food, but the coffee was magnificent and the waitresses called me by name and talked me up to my dates when I visited the ladies room.

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    3. It's only a chill, no-pressure place for OP, not for his date.

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    4. Question whether this is a reliable narrator Jared! As others have pointed out, the line about Gina being his mess to clean up is textual evidence of an untrustworthy narrator.

      Read it like it's "Heart of Darkness," don't turn your critical reading skills off.

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    5. I took "mess to clean up" as, "I brought her into this place and so I bear perhaps a bit of responsibility for her actions." If I brought a friend into an art museum and said friend spray-painted all over the paintings, even though I did not perform the act myself, I'd still likely apologize to the curator for having brought the asshat into the museum in the first place.

      But as a general rule, without solid evidence either way, I don't even try to make a judgment call on what's reliable or embellished.

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    6. I fully and wholeheartedly​ agree with Jared. A local bar where you feel comfortable is a good place for a date. If some friends come along, even better so you can see how she interacts with your circle. I certainly would like to date with an outgoing person who is capable of being nice with my friends.

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    7. Nah, not for a first date IMO. That's second or third territory.

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    8. I give you credit Jared, that's a fair and close reading of the text. And Benoit's point, in my mind, is both right and wrong. That is, I agree all the OPs could be liars but treating them all as liars is self-defeating and ruins the stories. That said, it is possible to read a post and see word choices and tones that suggest that the OP's version of events is really that: a version of events that is, based on the text not an honest retelling.

      I am glad that we can rationally discuss the nature of narrative and narrators on a humor site. If I worked this hard at my job maybe I would like it more (though probably not).

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    9. I seriously don't believe these stories are made up.Because if the stories were fake then there would be no reason to change the names.There is so much crazy in the dating universe to need to make things up.Who hasn't had a bad date?That's what all of us readers can relate with.Op sounds cool and Gina is the tool.I would rather meet at a bar then a fancy restaurant because then I could make my escape quicker.Thank goddness my days of sneaking out the bathroom windows of restaurants are over.

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    10. Totally agree with the sardonic Jared - there is absolutely nothing wrong with a casual bar for a first date. Unless one is a either a dinner whore or an alpha douche, in which case I guess it's not quite up to scratch.

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    11. There is indeed nowt wrong with a casual bar - just not your 'home' bar. Most first dates are in a neutral venue, and for good reasons.

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. All the stories here could be lies or made up as far as we know. But I think we should assume that the OPs are being honest. Of course, in each story, there is always a subjective element. For example, if OP says that after greeting friends, they moved on, it is possible that from the date's point of view, the chat with the friends dragged and dragged. On the other hand, there are elements that, when discussing the story, we must accept. OP says the date slapped Courtney, so we must accept that it happen. It's the central part of the story.
      If it did not happen, it makes the story fiction. And the discussion then becomes a discussion about a fictitious story in which Gina slaps Courtney... So it doesn't change anything.

      So, in this context, assuming that OP is subjective but trying to be honest, I cannot see how, in any circumstance, Gina would be justified to go and slap OP's old high school fling. Even if OP was the worst self absorbed cheap bore giving his date little attention and showing off, it still doesn't justify the slap. Even if OP said that he's still fuck friend with Courtney and inviting Gina to join a treesome, it doesn't justify slapping Courtney.

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    2. You make a persuasive argument, Benoit. In the vast kingdom of the Internet, we do have to maintain a certain suspension of disbelief.

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  6. long-winded comment bashing OP for no clear reason. secondary long-winded comment pointing out all stories could be fake. Long suffering sigh at the sheer drama of this uncharacteristically annoying thread of comments.

    folks, if you bring Mistah Jay out of hiding just to call you all silly, perhaps you're indeed being silly.

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    1. Excessively long reply berating you for not agreeing, followed by insults regarding your looks and sexual activity, and also I banged your mum.

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    2. FTW. Nothing personal Bananas, your comment is pure class, but this one goes up to 11.

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    3. Also, ladydyani, if you've banged my mum I applaud you on being perfect enough for that woman's high standards.

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    4. /me takes a bow

      I read your reply the other day and wanted to reply with "Your mum loved every second", but didn't know if that was going too far for being strangers on the internet.

      I am way too invested in this.

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  7. Two Mr.J sightings in one day is a rare thing indeed.Someone composed a longer post then me and that is also rare.Shall we contact Guinness?Is Guinness even around still?Did I mention my local movie theater sells Sweet Baby Jesus beer?They do and that's why I missed out on todays historical moments.

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    1. You should see the length of my posts when I'm anonymous, or when I post in my native tongue! I restrained myself here.

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  8. It was probably worth it for your beer and savior.

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  9. Some of you folks are complete and utter morons. OP's date slaps someone for no reason but he's the bad date? You're the type of idiots who voted for Trump.

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    Replies
    1. Big assumption, thanks for sharing. You're the type of idiot who makes that comment, go you.
      That kind of behaviour is rare, slapping someone for absolutely no reason - would love to see a rebuttal story for this one.

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