4/12/2017

The Left Way

Story Sent in by Kelly:

April was a regular customer in the clothing store where I worked. We'd chat about fashion, the weather, and ultimately each other. We clearly had feelings in common and she asked me out to dinner.

We had a good date and she even held my hand as we walked around so I was pretty excited about it. The next day at work, my boss called me over to say that someone had left an anonymous message on the store voicemail about me. It said that when I ate I used a fork interchangeably in both hands. While that's true (I'm ambidextrous), I never imagined that someone would be calling my work to tell my boss... exactly that. My boss was cool and we laughed it off.

April came in a little while later to ask me why I was still there. When I told her I didn't understand why she was asking me that, she said that she had a friend make a call to report to my boss that I used both my left hand and right hand to manipulate my fork at dinner the prior night, and that it really freaked her out. I asked April why it bothered her enough to leave a message at where I worked and in reply she tore out of the store like I was chasing her out.

She never came in again and I didn't hear from her again.

15 comments:

  1. I once had an ex boyfriend call my place of work at an ice cream shop and tell my boss that I was too short to serve ice cream.My boss hung up on him when he mentioned I didn't like Lever 2000 soap.My Boss didn't like that soap either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a sensible take on soap.

      Delete
    2. Irish Spring all the way, am I right Smiles?

      Delete
    3. Actually I'm to delicate for Irish Spring and use Ivory soap.

      Delete
    4. Ivory is mostly air, that's why it floats.

      DOVE SOAP is the correct choice. DOVE.

      Delete
    5. P.S. IT'S ONE QUARTER MOISTURIZING CREAM!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? OMG

      Delete
    6. I found dove in a soapless place,at the bottom of my tub because it doesn't float like Ivory.{mic drop}

      Delete
  2. Is "eating with both left and right hand" a euphemism for batting both ways?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess being ambidextrous he could punch the clown with both hands?

      Delete
    2. He??? I've never met a man called April. But since Kelly is a unisex name I'm going to go ahead and assume she was indeed batting both ways.

      Delete
  3. Too bad she didn't hold out until the bedroom to see what those ambidextrous hands could really do. Her loss OP.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Risky click of the day.

      Delete
    2. I've been trying to keep my links relatively safe. Otherwise I'll try and throw a NSFW in the comment just to keep everything on the up and up.

      Delete
    3. Well, that takes the thrill out of it.

      Delete
    4. Double bluff from the Architect there...

      Delete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.