4/19/2017

Grasshole

Story Sent in by Sam:

I went out on a first date with Maura on a Sunday morning after it had rained all the night before. It was a warm day and so we were out and about in a park. We had spoken for a couple of weeks beforehand and we had already become pretty flirtatious. We poked each other back and forth and then it became a tickle fight.

She laughed and ran away from me over the grass. I ran after her. She turned around, poked and tickled at me, and then cackled and ran away again.

Within seconds she slipped on the grass, fell, and there was a definite sound of a crack. She screamed and I went to her side. She then yelled, "Get away from me! Police! Police! Police!"

I have no idea what suddenly made it a police matter, but I didn't stick around to find out. I ran away as fast as I could and went all the way home. I didn't contact Maura after that so I have no idea if she was able to hobble home, if the police had to help her, or maybe even if she's still there in that field, screaming away.

7 comments:

  1. WTF? You just ran away instead of calling 911? OP is the creep here. Wow.

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    Replies
    1. Agreed! What the hell OP?! Given a minute or two, I'm sure she would have calmed down and you could have helped her.

      Portion of the story not being told: OP reached out to tickle her and accidentally pushed her. Hence the shouting for police.

      Delete
    2. Agreed, "poking" has any number of unsavory meanings.

      Delete
    3. Tickle fight....groping. Running away, I agree there' s a bit of the story missing and OP should have stepped back and called 911/ cops if he was innocent.
      Cackling? Who cackles but a witch. Was that a subtle play on calling Maura a b*^#%?

      Delete
  2. Seriously, Sam? Turn tail and run while she's screaming for the police, good idea. Not sketchy at all.

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  3. The only possible reason for her to call the police in this case was to accuse you of assault. When someone makes a serious false accusation like that, they lose the right to have you stick around and help.

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