4/11/2017

Crookies

Story Sent in by Bennet:

I had been dating Shelly for a little less than a month. We made plans to go to a church potluck together and I made cookies for it. Shelly didn't show up with anything, but it wouldn't have been any kind of a big deal.

...Except for the fact that when we showed up with my cookies, Shelly took full credit for them.

"What's that? Oh, the cookies? Thank you, old family recipe."

"You like the cookies? I'm so glad. I made them!"

"Do you think I made enough? I didn't think there would be that many people. Anyway, enjoy my cookies!"

"I made them, but Bennet helped."

I finally took her aside and said, "I don't really appreciate you taking credit for something I did. If you're embarrassed to have not made anything, then maybe it's better if you just don't say anything."

She protested, loud enough for other to hear, "But I made them! I did!"

The breadth and ferocity of her lie really took me aback. It wasn't worth fighting over so I just let things be for the time being. I didn't ask her out again and I've since corrected the record among my friends who thought she baked the cookies in the first place. I'm not sure what she thought would happen, but I guess she didn't want to wind up with me.

13 comments:

  1. I think the rest of us dodged that particular bullet, because they both sound like twats and this way, they never got a chance to procreate and make a new breed of super-twat.

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    1. Now I'm picturing a twat with a cape. Thanks for that badgerdaddy. Also, googling super twat was not as exciting as I'd hoped.

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  2. A REAL man would have made 2 things to bring, so that she'd have something to claim as her own. Some gentleman OP is!

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    1. Those are some pretty smart testicles if they can count.

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  3. got to agree with badgerdaddy, the bad date may have been petty to claim something as her own, but still did the OP really had to make a big deal of it? She was only making a little white lie, and while it's true one lie could lead to another, it's all about the ownership of cookies for god's sake! Both parties are petty and childish.

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    1. I don't agree at all. It's not the cookies, it's the ease with which she LIED about making them. And right in front of him too. He dodged a bullet.

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  4. I'm surprised no one mentioned that she did this lying at a church function.Coveting your neighbor's goods is one of the Ten commandments that you shall not break.Shelly tried like hell to covet those cookies.And Op should of said something first when Shelly mentioned that she made the cookies.They both seem wishy washy anyway...

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    1. Speaking only for myself, if you identify as a Christian to me and participate in whatever food-based hell this is, then I will assume (based solely on my own experience of such wonderful Christians) that you are a liar, a hypocrite and likely as un-Christian as can be regarding your fellow man. So I reckon a church function is the right place to behave like this.

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    2. lol Badger!I'm agnostic but was raised Catholic.I agree.When I was a kid at my sister's wedding it was time to throw the rice as the Bride and Groom came out of the church but the expensive Easter basket filled with satin bags of rice went missing.My mother and I spent four hours filling those little bags.Turns out the Priest didn't want rice on the church steps so he hid the basket in the trunk of his car then gave it to a secretary and she kept it.My mother saw her daughter using the basket at an Easter Egg hunt and that's how we found out.My family left that church right after that.The moral of the story is everybody lies.Praise House!

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  5. She was probably just embarrassed to be out with a guy who bakes cookies.

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  6. He's lucky to be rid of her. Today cookies, tomorrow The Big Salad...

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