3/02/2017

Maybe Lobsters Killed Her Family

Story Sent in by Kyle:

I took Amanda to a seafood restaurant and ordered myself lobster. Once our food was served she stopped talking and began giving me dirty looks. It was impossible to ignore and I asked her what was wrong.

She said, "I have a shellfish allergy. And you just go and order lobster."

I had no idea that she had a shellfish allergy and I told her, "You never told me you had an allergy. You could have. But you didn't."

She replied, "You never asked!"

I said, "So I should ask you preemptively if you have an allergy to anything and everything?"

She said, "Pretty much. It's what a real man would do."

"I see."

Last date.

10 comments:

  1. OP's next line: "Do you have an allergy to STFU or GTFO?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Do you have an allergy to paying your half of the tab?"

      Delete
    2. Lady, that's a very common allergy among the dinner wh0re set...

      Delete
  2. If OP narrative is accurate the date is a little sensitive. If the OP wants to have better dates he should pick places to eat after asking some questions of the date though.

    I mean so I'm told anyway. I always just walk up to women on the street with a bag of hotdogs in hand and try to get the insta-date cooking. I call it my "Street meet to street meat to steet "meat" approach."

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  3. I honestly think she was mad that he was eating lobster... she probably wanted it too on his dime.

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  4. I have a shell fish allergy and so when I go to a seafood restaurant I get something that is not shell fish.I think perhaps Amanda was thinking that if the guy ate the lobster then they couldn't kiss later.My husband loves crab cakes and lobster so he just washes his hands good and brushes his teeth afterwards.However when on a date,I would not want to kiss someone after they just ate something I'm allergic too.With that being said it is the responsibility of the person with allergies to inform that they have said allergies.Amanda is one of those silly women that expect men to read their minds.Kyle,I hope you split the check...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Without even mentioning the allergy, a little "I don't fancy seafood, why not this Italian place instead" would have sufficed. Yep, Amanda if for the loony bin or ridiculous expectations...

      Delete
  5. I used to tell dates I am allergic to roses, but that was to pre-empt them showing up at my door with one.

    When my husband, the Male Unit, and I first started dating, he brought me a miniature rose bouquet for Valentine's. I started sneezing, and said, "Did you forget I am allergic to roses?" His response: "But these are minia...oh, crap. I'm sorry."

    We only have one other story that rivals the brain fart in that one. My in-laws ended up with only three trick-or-treaters one year, and gave us the rest of the candy. My husband walks into the room wth two "fun-sized" candy bars and asks, "Honey? What's the difference between these two?"

    I noted the name on the candy, looked up to see that he was indeed serious, and responded.

    "Almond Joy's got nuts. Mound's don't."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Angel Singer-My husband also asked me the same mounds/almond joy question,lol.I told him the same you you told your husband.He still looked confused.I then told him that almond joys were boys and mounds were girls.And then I reminded him that he hated coconut.He made a fish face and said"These have coconut in them?!"Oh well,it took me 10 minutes before I realized my missing wedding ring was on my finger after I cleaned it.Just throw me in a round room and tell me the key for the door is in the corner.

      Delete
  6. I dunno. I think OP was pretty shellfish.

    ReplyDelete

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