3/28/2017

Doggie Don't

Story Sent in by Adam:

Ellie brought her dog with her on our date. It was cool. I like dogs, especially chocolate labs, which is what she had. But while we were at a table at an outdoor cafe, the dog took a dump right by the table, right where the servers would walk between tables.

I saw it happen. Ellie saw it happen. But she didn't do anything about it. She just kept talking about god-knows-what. I finally blurted, "You gonna clean that up?"

She said, "When we're done. I'm not gonna touch it before we eat."

It wasn't long before a waiter came up to us and asked Ellie to clean it up. I didn't think it was a big deal She could just use a bunch of paper towels and then wash her hands. But Ellie took great offense to the suggestion and yelled at the server, "Don't oppress my dog!" She then slammed a fork on the table, stood up, and left. Sadly, she took her dog with her. No goodbyes or anything like that. She just left this house of canine oppression.

I ended up cleaning the dog poop, apologizing for my wacky date, and leaving shortly thereafter. I was surprised to receive an email from Ellie in which she didn't so much apologize and more kind of just blamed the restaurant for ruining our date. I laughed at the email and didn't contact her again.

8 comments:

  1. I've always been kind of disappointed that chocolate labs aren't, in fact, made of chocolate.

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    Replies
    1. Or that brown cows don't produce chocolate milk. Or that you cannot, in fact, grow monet on trees.

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    2. Without monet you can't by degas to make your van gogh.

      Delete
  2. I would have set up a second date, if only to find a way to deliver that dog poop back to her. Granted, the stink would have worn off by then, but it's the principal of the thing.

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    Replies
    1. Had a friend over and she said she wanted to run out and get some cookies from this awesome new little bakery thatbjust opened up near me. She comes back with 2 paper sleeves with cookies in them and hands me one. I open mine and it's got dog poop in it. I look up and she's laughing her ass off. Tells me she couldn't help it, wanted to see my face, and she splits her cookie with me, after I wash my hands, of course.

      Anyway, I'm all for the idea of gifting it back to her. Or go get a fresh one from a nearby dog park or whatever. Put it in a little box, add wrapping paper and ribbons, set a second date, and give her your gift. Don't forget to have your camera ready.

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  3. Most dog owners carry poopy bags with them. They are super cheap and available everywhere, and you can clip them on to the leashes (or I just tie one on at the end). I even buy fancy ones with pretty patterns so people know my dog is a girl. They also have biodegradable poop bags and scented poop bags. Shame on her for not having a poop bag with her!

    ReplyDelete

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