3/29/2017

Dignity?

Story Sent in by Windy:

Ari thought it would be fun to take me out to a picnic in a park, underneath a big tree. There was an awful smell there (like something had died) and I asked him if we could move the picnic elsewhere. He insisted that it had to be under that tree.

I asked him why, as the park had dozens of other trees. He said that that tree was good luck for him because he had taken the virginity of three girls under it. I lost my appetite but he ate his lunch, asked me if I was going to eat mine, I told him I wasn't, and then he ate mine, too.

He then tried to get me to make out with him but the bad smell and his story about what he had done at the tree grossed me out enough to not go through with it. That was our only date. To this day I have no idea what that smell was or what might have died under that tree.

14 comments:

  1. Maybe you could've used your powers to blow the bad smell away. Lol. And then done him under the tree

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your username and comment make me imagine a giggling 9-year-old playing on dad's computer.

      Delete
  2. I should write a book for men listing all the conversation topics which girls don't want to hear about, that freaks them out or that make one look like an absolute twat.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Answers to the 2 questions posited in the last sentence of this story:
    1. The girls he murdered and buried there.
    2. You.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think the smell was the death of Ari's dignity.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Gotta love the smell of rotting hymens...

    ReplyDelete
  6. All I can think is that Ari is clearly a cousin and/or massive fan of Bob Ross.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well....There went an hour of my life I'll never get back and twisted a beloved TV icon that I'll never look at in the same way again. Thanks for that Archie Girl.

      Delete
  7. "Windy" and "Ari"? ISWYDT

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, those are perfectly legitimate names you know you shouldn't- Bahahaha!! oh man, I almost had it! I just couldn't stay serious through the whole thing.

      Delete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.