3/31/2017

ロストイントランスレーション

Story Sent in by Renata:

Nelson told me that he could speak five languages and even taught me a little bit of Japanese via email before our date. On our date itself we met at a bar and he spoke more Japanese... and nothing else. He wouldn't talk to me in English at all. He was nice enough to order me a drink (for that he spoke to the bartender in English) but I didn't understand a word he said when he spoke to me. I kept asking him to speak English but he wouldn't. I guess he thought I'd magically pick up the language just by listening to him, but that's not how language learning really works.

After almost an hour of sitting there and basically having him talk at me in a language I barely understood, I had enough. I told him for the last time to speak to me in English and he said some hurried Japanese that of course I didn't understand. I then thanked him for the drink and made to leave.

He jumped out of his seat, pulled out his phone, dialed a number, and screamed panicked Japanese over the phone at whoever it was on the other line. He was squawking like a chicken and I had no idea who he had called or what he was trying to do. As I tried to leave, he kept standing in my way and trying to stop me. I had to basically shove my way past him in order to leave.

I didn't hear from him after that, but I did notice that within the next week, he changed his site profile completely to Japanese.

10 comments:

  1. Perhaps it was a Cyrano type thing and his English-speaking cohort had a dead battery?

    ReplyDelete
  2. That was my thought as well.. was he actually Japanese?

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  3. To save people some time, the title is "Lost in Translation"

    ReplyDelete
  4. OP left out the part where she was *in Japan.*

    Typical American trying to make everyone speak Engrish to her...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hate myself for laughing at that.

      Delete
  5. If it weren't for the fact he spoke English to order a drink at the bar, I wondered if he only spoke Japanese and lied about speaking English.

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  6. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LR4XNqrqxrU

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  7. As a perpetual spinster, I'll share that at a recent speed-dating event an older Japanese man sat down across from me. He struggled a lot with English and spoke a lot in Japanese with gesturing to try and communicate when English frustrated him. My generous thought to OP is that she was in a similar situation.

    My gut feeling tells me that's not the case, though.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Must have heard this song a few times too many.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Me: i speak every language but Chinese.
    Date: Ok then, speak Japanese.
    Me: i can't, it's all Chinese to me.
    Date: Italian?
    Me: It's all Chinese to me...
    Date: German?
    Me: All Chineeee...

    She picked her coat and left.

    ReplyDelete

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