2/05/2017

I Preferred Season J

Profile Sent in by Cedrick:

Who I'm looking for:

I am a relentless pursuist of perfection. I strive to be better and I want my partner to be the same. If you do not yet work out you will work out with me. No more gut flab. If you do not read you will read with me often the same books and we will discuss them together. If you do not have a reasonable bedtime then you will have to (more for you than me) because peple with reasonable bedtimes live longest. And what else? If you do not watch the Bachelor than that's good because if you do we will no longer watch the Bachelor. Completely stupid ever since Jack turned down both Cabrini and the supervisor in season H. What is your favorite jelly bean? I will tell you. Your breath will smell bad if it is anything other than starburst.

13 comments:

  1. If you do not like to spoon,you will spoon with me.If you like to be alone at times,you will never be alone with me.If you run away and hide,I will find you...We will always be together.My breath smells like Strawberry Starburst and so will yours.We will be one after you're assimilated.

    The adorable ball buster of your dreams...

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  2. Sounded as if a life coach took their job so seriously they couldn't turn it off one day. Now they spend their life trying to improve the life of others, one date at a time. Also, the Bachelor was terrible from the beginning and was always a waste of time.

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  3. Full mark for honesty! Very commandable.

    So many girls think like this privately, but don't realise, won't admit it and bang, after six months into the relationship, they start blaming you for being what you are, for liking the wrong colour or watching the wrong shows or listening to the wrong music. And it happens so gradually that it takes a bloke about a year to figure out what is going on, and another six months for gathering the balls to dump her cause you remember it wasn't like that at first, so it might be possible to sort it out, only to realise it just gets worse and worse!

    So, I like her: she's efficient in showing that she's a loony control freak... And saves blokes two years of their lives.

    (Oh, I sound bitter here. Could something like that happen before when I was younger perhaps?)

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    Replies
    1. Same happens in reverse. Filthy, controlling, leave you hating yourself for years, bastards. Oh no, now I sound bitter. Perhaps I have found a companion.

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    2. I thought I had dibs?

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    3. On comment sex, yes, but Benoit and I have a special connection. One of butter frustration. Oh lord, no, I'm definitely keeping that typo.

      Benoit, let us share in our butter frustration as friends.

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    4. A nice Starburst or two will wipe that butterness right out.

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    5. Oh, got many butter frustrations! An ex of mine once had a tantrum after I made her some toasts (without her even having to ask) because I did not butter it up tho the very edge.

      Another butter frustration are crumbs. Can't stand crumbs on the butter... But put in perspective, I know it's not this important, so I'd let Banana leave as many crumbs as she wants on the butter.

      Finally, my last butter frustration is not really about butter, but because of a small Freudian slip. I don't know why my ex made such a fuss about it. Just a tiny slip of the tongue... barely anything that could have happened to anyone. We were eating and I wanted to ask her "pass me the butter please" and, god knows why, it came out as "YOU FUCKING BITCH, YOU WRECKED MY BASTARD LIFE!"

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    6. That's it. You've won today, good sir. My own butter frustrations cannot hold a flame to yours, and I salute thee. I haven't laughed that hard since my son discovered his own feet and spent the day laughing at his own toes.

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    7. I'll accept this home with pride.

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  4. Starburst is not a "jellybean". Just saying...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you just assume my candy?

      Delete
    2. But Starburst does make jellybeans.

      Delete

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