1/23/2017

Fishful Thinking

Story Sent in by Buck:

Lindsey and I met at a fair that five local churches put on. We talked a lot that day and I got her number so we went out on an actual dinner date.

I ordered a salad with salmon on it and she clearly didn't think too highly of my choice. She asked, "How can you eat fish? Isn't that like eating God?"

I said, "Not unless God's a fish."

She said, "Jesus's symbol is a fish. The pope's ring is called the fisherman's ring. Jesus was a fish. It says so in the bible."

I asked, "Can you show me where it says that?"

She said, "After dinner. I'll show you."

She didn't mention it again and we finished dinner and then I asked her about it. She said, "I promise you: Jesus and God are fishes. Their symbols are the fish. Praise fish!"

I didn't join her fishy praises and we didn't go out ever again.

12 comments:

  1. Praises for Op!He avoided a Jesus Fish fiasco!Lindsey confused the reasons why people avoid fish in their diets due to the harming of fish with why Jesus called his disciples"fisher of men",not that he's a bloody fish!Damn,I can't stop laughing,lmfao.I have never heard anyone believe that God and Jesus were fish until now.This is what happens when you fall asleep at church and half ass hear a sermon.If I were Op I would of left a can of sardines on her door step just for the lulz.What can I say,I prefer Goya over Starkist.Yeah,yeah,I amuse self...

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  2. Maybe she was reading an alternative text?*


    *yes, I know dolphins aren't "fish" but it makes the joke work so just go with it*

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    Replies
    1. I was thinking the Fish Heads song.Damn,in my head all day long now...

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    2. OP'S date would have been so much better if she'd remembered to bring her towel.

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  3. I'll get over you, I know I will, I'm the King of Fishful Thinking...

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    Replies
    1. Ahh, my soul brother. Go West my friend, Go West.

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  4. I think she got Jesus mixed up with sea kittens.

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  5. Wondering what he was expecting the 4000 do with all the fish he did magic from a couple... Lick them?

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    Replies
    1. He was going to turn the fish into Rum Raisin and Pistachio ice cream.

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    2. If revealed, that would turn Christianity upside down, or arse over tits as we say here in England. This is why the Vatican does all it can to keep this secret. This is the plot of the next Dan Brown.

      I still can't answer your question from a few days ago by the way... It's too cold for ice cream.

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  6. Jesus is delicious with some butter and a side of asparagus.

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