12/28/2016

Two Sheds

(It's winter! Go see a movie! Should it be La La Land? Check out my spoiler-free review on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Sly:

It was the first and only time I ended up at Brooke's apartment. As soon as I walked in she handed me both a hairnet and a shower cap. She explained, "I hate finding random hair everywhere. Would you mind wearing these while you're here?"

It was a bright, floral shower cap and I felt silly wearing it. But I kept it on to make her feel comfortable. When I went to use her bathroom she warned me, "Keep the shower cap on!" as if I'd for some reason take it off while urinating.

I wondered if she was just obsessive-compulsive about cleanliness, but I can't say that her apartment was in super-clean shape. We ate dinner and then sat down together on her couch to watch a movie. But every few minutes she'd reach over and tug the shower cap down a bit further on my head like she was afraid it would flap off of my noggin at any moment.

Finally I told her, "I think it's not going to move. Really."

I didn't mention that she wasn't wearing any sort of protective headgear herself, although maybe she was okay with her own hair. At one point during the film I reached for her hand but she pulled away and said, "You have hand hair."

I asked her hypothetically, "What if I shaved my hand?"

She said, "Or if you wore a glove that would also be okay."

I didn't plan to see her again but after the date she wrote me an email in which she said that she felt comfortable enough with me such that the next time I came over to her place, I'd be welcome to "shed wherever I wanted." Thanks but no thanks.

12 comments:

  1. Have any of you seen La La Land? I'm thinking about going but I don't know if it's any good, and I dare not read a review in case it has spoilers. Anyone?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, oh! Pick me, pick me! I know, pick me!

      Delete
    2. Bad date stories and film reviews. Some said it was impossible. But verily, I bring you everything.

      Delete
  2. Keeping DNA evidence from your potential victims out of your apartment can be such a tedious affair.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. #allarchitectsthinkalike, apparently.

      Delete
    2. Keeping DNA evidence out of apartment from extremely jealous and manipulative husband?

      Delete
  3. Meh, this was just the first test, to see how susceptible he was to mansmithing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. So is she picking up all the hairs she finds and comparing them to her own? Looking under a microscope for lice? Was she hairless and wearing a wig? I have questions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe "shaved" is the expression...?

      Delete
  5. So, this is the post I get for my birthday. Not bad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *Quietly adds tlkitty's birthday to growing identity theft file*

      Happy Birthday!

      Delete
  6. Oh come on OP. She gave you the green light come over and shed where ever you wanted to, and you didn't take her up on it?

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.