12/16/2016

The Naming of the Shrew

Story Sent in by Everett:

Leanne had two kids and she showed me lots of photos of them while we were out during our first date. When I asked her what their names were she said, "They're both named Everett."

I said, "You're kidding. Like me? Both of them?"

She said, "Yeah... wait, that's your name?"

That stopped me cold. Was there something wrong with her? "Yes. I'm Everett. I met you at a soccer game. Remember?"

She said, "But Everett's what I named my kids. How can you also be called Everett?"

"Sorry. That's my name."

She stood up, at first I thought to go to the restroom. But she grabbed her purse and said, "That's not your name. I don't know what your name is but it's not Everett. I have to go."

She left as if I meant her harm, which I didn't. I don't know what her problem was but I guess I'm glad it came out on the first date.

10 comments:

  1. Dollars to donuts OP looks like a C.H.U.D.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, at least you know you didn't miss out on a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. There was zero creativity in giving both her kids the same name.

    Wait......OP, do you have a brother? Quick, what's his name? Time travel....date with your own.....mother....brain....melting....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spoiler: Leanne's kids were both girls.

      Delete
  3. there are actual people in this world with parents that seem to genuinely wish them harm. For example, the poor girl named Abcde (pronounced Ab-seh-duh) or the woman named Airwrecka, pronounced Erika.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My aunt works with a woman named Shithead, pronounced Sha-theed. Also worked with a guy that named his son Timber and his daughter Canyon.

      Delete
    2. Heard of a boy named Sharon pronounced Sha Ron.

      Delete
    3. I agree with all but Shithead, which is terrible in English but not in the language it actually is. it's an Indian name that is totally legit in India... not so much in English-speaking countries.

      Delete
    4. I was once in a Target store and saw a girl with her name tag as "Airwrecka." I asked if I could take a selfie with her, and she said "Sure, it happens all the time."

      A childhood friend of mine found out that has parents originally wanted to name him Christopher Robin. He got married and they had twin boys, he named them Christopher and Robin.

      Also, check out the London Airport Announcements

      Delete
  4. Oh come on, you guys act like this never happens.

    And it's not like it's poor Hubert B. or the even poorer Hallin-Diding baby...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AG, you're killing it in the comments!

      Delete

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