12/06/2016

Orange You Glad?

Story Sent in by Kevin:

Trish took out an orange at lunch and asked me if I minded that she sucked on it. I told her it was fine and so she just kind of put it in her mouth and just... well... sucked it. She didn't peel it or bite it or eat it. She just kept it there like a giant pacifier. She took it out to talk but otherwise just kept it there.

"What's with the orange?" I asked her.

"It's a security thing. Like Linus's blanket in Peanuts."

"Oh. Wasn't he a little kid though?"

"I just do it, okay?"

Do it she did. And it was our last time out together.

14 comments:

  1. I think Trish was trying to show off her mad sucking skills but it went over ops head.Op neglected to ask for the juicy details so we will never know if the the night could of been a bit more appealing.Orange is the new banana,duh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Orange you glad for Tinder?

      Delete
    2. It-citrus-ting you bring up that seedy app. There's no zest or substance there, it's all pulp.

      I don't think I can squeeze any more out of this comment, but just maybe, if I concentrate....

      Delete
  2. She spent the entire date sucking on a big ball folks. Do your own jokes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guys have balls. HA! Wait, Dammit I think I did it wrong.

      Delete
    2. Thank you for your service. I have not the time nor discipline to form my own ball sucking jokes.

      Delete
  3. I would have told her that I'd vitamin C her later!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kevin, how are you ever going to find your Manic Pixie Dream Girl if you don't find little quirks endearing?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Damn you, I had to read them all.

      Delete
    3. Bananas is MY MPDG...

      Delete
    4. I just can't quit you, Steve 💕

      Delete
  5. Archie - I regret nothing.

    If you like that one you should read Denny's twitter account. I dunno who writes that thing but he's high as balls. Always good for a laugh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Eggs are a good source of egg"

      Confirmed: That dude is high as fuck.

      Delete

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