12/31/2016

Life or Breath

(A Bad Case of the Dates wishes you and yours a wondrous and prosperous New Year! May joy and delight cascade into your heart like a fragrant mountain stream. See you in 2017! -JMG)

Email Sent in by Y:

Hey Yen:

I was thinking of you while breathing today. Do you ever do that? Breathe. I don't mean like in and out with oxygen but actually breathe. Like with your whole body. Like you are a newborn for the first time. Try it now. I'll wait. Have you done it yet? I'll wait. How about now? Now? Now? I can't really tell if you've done it or not because I'm in the past (at this point) having already written this email. Can you tell me or give me a sign now that you have breahted. For god's sake man breathe! I want you to breathe now! NOW! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Love, Tina

9 comments:

  1. Love,Tina...Ok,let's just let this sink in.First she is bossy with the way op is breathing.Impatient with wanting to know if OP is breathing correctly,and now she's sending her love via e-mail.The breathing fetish takes my breath away as now I have forgotten how to breath thanks to Tina getting into my head.And now I can't get that Police song out of my head.You know the one...

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  2. It's obviously an attempt at humour and I find it funny. Since Banana didn't beat me to it, I'd give her a chance!

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    Replies
    1. Thought it was kind of sweet, in an awkward way too.

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    2. Awkward sweetness is often the best sweetness because it feels as if the other person had to gather courage just to do the thing and that makes it more special because they cared more than their own worries of being rejected.


      phew I just word vomited. No more coffee fueled work nights banana

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    3. Banana, this thing you speak of, that's attached to the coffee fueled work nights? "No more"? What is that? Is it a real thing?

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    4. It's this magical phrase that people with social lives have. they use it to do things like "no more studying" and "no more stress"

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  3. She's super shitty at teaching Hamone

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  4. I get that she was going for funny, but honestly, I think I'm missing the joke. Maybe she thinks he has weak lungs and is trying to be encouraging? Or she's one of those crazy people who think dihydrogen monoxide and N2O2ArCO2NeHeCH4 are poisonous? But if I had to guess, I think she probably just didn't smack his ass hard enough.

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    Replies
    1. This made me think of Michael Jackson in the oxygen chamber..

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