12/07/2016

Last Place in the Human Race

Story Sent in by Jennifer:

Joe said he'd meet me in front of a Thai restaurant that I liked a lot. I assumed that meant that we'd be going to dinner there. I took my time getting ready and arrived right on time.

He pulled up in a Mercedes and revved the engine a couple of times before he rolled down the passenger-side window and asked, "I like to be straight up early on: am I getting any tonight?"

I said, "I hadn't planned on it."

He replied by revving the engine a few more times and driving away.

It's too bad. He was cute, and if he had been decent in addition to handsome, he actually might've scored.

17 comments:

  1. Wow, not even the pretense of a date before asking if he was going to "get any".

    Douche bag level: MAX

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    Replies
    1. Countermeasures against Dinner Wh0res.

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  2. "I hadn't planned on it" does NOT = "no."

    Younger Steve would have sweet-talked those pannies right offa her...

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  3. Now I'm not so dumb as to say all men are this way, but I was abstinent until I met my husband. I would be a wealthy woman if someone gave me a dollar for every guy that dropped me like a hot potato after he found out. I started telling people first thing after a few years to weed out the dicks. Then of course there were those who didn't take me seriously, as if I was just saying that, or who thought they could "convince" me.

    long, hung over rant short, some guys think, live and breathe with their dicks. His loss OP.

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    Replies
    1. That's a pretty risky move Bananas. What is you tied the knot and you guys weren't sexually compatible? Just curious.

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    2. Bananas had to weed through the forest of dicks being constantly thrust towards her general direction...

      Some guys think it's all a "numbers game." I don't know if it's even a sex thing, as much as it is an ego thing. They need to feel like they "vanquished" something.

      Me? I was happy for any table scraps thrown my way...

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    3. Archie, once you get old/fat/bald/married, you ain't really sexually compatible with ANYONE. So you might as well just go ahead and marry the person that makes you laugh. Or has a bunch of money.

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    4. I was lucky. My wife picked me and she likes me despite me being old, fat, poor, and bald (not quite). I definitely married up. As Katie Girl (may Chunky Horse devour her soul) would have said: Best relationship EVAH!!!!111!!!!1!

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    5. My strategy was to target girls with daddy issues - they were more likely to put up w/ my crap...

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    6. She said she was abstinent until she met her husband, she didn't mention waiting til after marriage.

      Eh, I'd probably go on the dates to decide if I wanted to sleep with someone, I wouldn't decide ahead of time.

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    7. We did end up doing the deed before signing the license, but I call waiting until after we were engaged close enough.

      To answer archy, a lot of sexual chemistry comes from the emotional chemistry between two people. Whether you're in love or just having a drunken night of fun, mutual minds always find a way to make it work. Fortunately for me, I haven't quite become old/fat/bald yet so it's pretty fiery. hopefully I never do hit the bald mark

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    8. Why is it that the girls who always comment put out, never put out IRL?

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    9. Bananas required a conflict diamond before allowing access to her vadge. How many child soldiers had to die, just so your hubz could get his rocks off? I hope it was worth it...

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    10. Actually, my ring has synthetic diamonds in it, and no one calls it a "vadge" anymore. You're falling behind, Steve. How many decades ago did you reach old/fat/bald stage? Shame. *rings bell* Shame.

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    11. Welp, technically, I was born fat/bald... the old/married came later... dotdotdot...

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  4. I just wanted a date to the sock hop then one thing lead to another and before I knew it,I was tripping dice at Harrah's in Vegas sporting"my precious".

    ReplyDelete

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