12/25/2016

Elf Help

Profile Sent in by Elizabeth:

What I'm doing with my life:

I am an elf who works for the Santa. Not like that guy in that movie (Will Farrel - a FAKE elf). I seriously work in a toy factory so I'm about as close to a real elf as you will ever get. I can't promise to fulfil your every wish but I can come close because I do not have any debt. It is not a factory of elves. I am one and only specific one of a kind kind of man but the Santa........ the Santa is my boss (he is not real Santa, the is the FAKE Santa) and he is a class a magnificent 100% specimen of alabama black snake. Shorter than me. No Santa is shorter than an actual elf but he is not an actual Santa and I am not an actual elf. What are you doing for the holidays?

8 comments:

  1. I am a commenter, not like that Steve guy (a FAKE commenter). I work for the Mistah Jay, who is probably taller than me. Many people are. Mistah Jay is a 100% specimen of sexy blogger.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm 5'8", making me just barely taller than your average Alabama black snake.

      Delete
  2. How did I know "Alabama Black Snake" would be an urban dictionary entry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I could have guessed, but damnit, I looked instead. Come on Archie, get it together! You're better than this!

      Delete
  3. What is an Alabama Black Snake?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oddly impressed with the mix of Santa and Full Metal Jacket refrences.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "What are you doing for the holidays?"

    Locking all my doors and windows.

    ReplyDelete
  6. After reading this site I can't help but think that everyone emailing on dating sites is constantly drunk and/or high.

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.