12/21/2016

Dress to Unimpress

(One-of-a-kind screenplay gifts? In which you're written in as a character? But HOW? Click here to find out. -JMG)

Story Sent in by Sandie:

Ethan wore a dress to our first date dinner. That alone wouldn't have necessarily been a deal breaker - I know that some guys wear dresses and I'm actually cool with it. But during dinner he sat creepily close to me and kept taking my hand and putting it on his leg. The first time I thought he was just being overly affectionate but when he did it again I just got a weird vibe.

I took my hand away again and then slowly during our conversation he reached for it again. I moved my hand away and he kept going for it more and more overtly.

Finally he asked, "Why won't you let me take your hand? I just want to bring it to where it belongs."

"Where it belongs?" I asked.

"My crotch," he said with a smile.

Nothing of mine belonged anywhere near that. And so we never went out again.

13 comments:

  1. Your foot at high velocity probably did

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    Replies
    1. Bananas is advocating domestic violence again... :-(

      Chunky Horse is pleased...

      Delete
  2. Dude was totally commando under his little dress. He wanted you to know his gentleman's sausage was swinging around under there like a bell clapper.

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    Replies
    1. A probable and unpleasant image. This is a poetry of our age.

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    2. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fnlqTOsR0RA

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    3. A kilt is not a skirt. Warriors wear kilts.

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    4. Ethan wanted to be the MPDG.

      Delete
  3. A dude unexpectedly showing up in a dress ISN'T a dealbreaker? I mean, nothing against trannies, but if you ARE a tranny, you should at least communicate that prior to meeting, no? I guess I'm just too fat/old/bald/married to understand...

    But presumably, he just wore the dress for easy access to his ding-a-ling, for special touches. Why he couldn't wear a kilt like a respectable douche, I have no idea.

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  4. "Ah, of course I will sleep with you, obviously thirsty douche!"-said no straight woman ever

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  5. That date ended up on the chopping block much like Caligula's sausage.Or in Ethan's case a late night 7-11 big bite that no one dares touch.

    ReplyDelete

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