12/08/2016

Broken Things

Story Sent in by Ryan:

I met Minerva over a dating site and she told me in a message that her most recent ex broke up with her because she broke too many plates in his kitchen. I asked her if she had done it on purpose (it was unclear from her message) and she said that it wasn't - she was just a klutz. It was clear she was still pretty upset about it so I figured we'd be taking things slowly.

Our first couple of dates went well. Nothing to write home about, but no real deal-breakers either. She was nice but there wasn't much else to her.

Things changed dramatically on our third date. After about an hour and a half of a nice time out at a field day that a friend of mine had arranged, Minerva took me a aside to tell me that she was finally getting back together with her ex and that she was tired of stringing me along.

I was a bit hurt as I didn't realize that all the time we were together she had apparently been working at winning her ex back. But I opted for the high road and told her, "I hope that you two will be happy."

She said, "He'd better be. I just finished gluing all the plates I broke."

I laughed slightly, thinking she was making a joke. But then she took out her phone and showed me photo after photo of glued porcelain plates. Some of them looked as if they had once been shattered beyond reason.

So I figure that ultimately, there was no big loss on my account.

13 comments:

  1. Trust me when I say I don't think Minerva's boyfriend broke up with her because she broke one too many plates.It was probably because she got on his nerves,the last nerve obliterated by a picture of glued together plates.It's safe to say that she is far more crazy then the glue that pitifully binds them.

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    Replies
    1. He probably broke up with her right after she collected all of the tiny shards and said "I can fix this."

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  2. Replies
    1. Looks like Chunky Horse's less-refined cousin...

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  3. There is nothing dysfunctional about a relationship that ends because the woman manically smashes a bunch of plates and then restarts when the man controllingly forces the woman to glue them all back together again. I mean it would be great in a RomCom: 29 Plates? Superglue, Actually?

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  4. There's a metaphor here, somewhere...

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  5. Someone check on Jarrrrrrrrred. I think he's dead. No new date story this morning for the first time in years! Or......one of his bad dates finally caught up with him......*insert dramatic music here*

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    Replies
    1. I'm scured... I think his herd of cats finally turned on him...

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  6. Hi! Yes, all's well. Quite busy over here at the ABCotD mansion. We're building a new balcony to toss extra cats down at the plebeians. Your concern is much appreciated.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, the ABCotD Mansion could use a new balcony.

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    2. That's the only house on the estate in which I'll let you stay.

      Delete

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