11/05/2016

Someone Set This to Music

Email Sent in by Trevor:

Hi I spent most of the last two decades living out of my trunk and playing my guitar. Now I'm coming out of it and realized that hey I don't know what I'm doing anymore. You seem setup in life and so I have a plan for you and me; you help set me up (a loan at worst, free money at best) and I will give you regular you know what. Whenever you want it. I did some horrible things over the past 20 years been in jail and had my kids stolen from me (twice) but now I'm ready to come back to the land of the living so to speak. I play music and can do that for you too. Check out my bandcamp. It is the best where are my kids.

Thelma

11 comments:

  1. Hopefully in a safe environment with supervised visits only.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It makes me cringe when people don't realize what the heck they are saying.Themla sounds like trouble.Not only that but a mess,and not a hot mess but a mess of something if she ever figures it out.She must think it's every mans dream to be offered sexual favors from a beat,middle aged mooch of a woman who has nothing to offer but drama and headaches.Op is better off with a bottle of lotion and a sock.Don't worry OP,your shiny needle in the haystack will be found.Dating site 101:ignore the crazies and send their crazy e-mails to this site for us to read...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, that IS kinda MY dream... I like hippy cougars, though...

      Delete
    2. Steve,that's the thing,money for nothing but the chick's not free.No way is she a peacful,loving hippy.How much you want to bet she's in a Bikini Kill cover band and tweeks on a daily basis.

      Delete
  3. That sounds like an adventure. At least she let's the crazy out early in the game.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh my gosh... and on top of all the drama and headaches, what kind of diseases would you get from her "favors"?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. probably the kind that there are no known cures for yet.

      Delete
  5. "it is the best where are my kids." can we just take a moment to appreciate this gem?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a ruby of a quote.If I had more then one kid I would use it.And at Chuck E Cheese's while I'm drinking beer.

      Delete
  6. Wow. What a catch. Better hurry up fellas, deals like this don't come along very often.
    She's not just your normal run of the mill train wreck....no no no, she's like if a train hit another train head-on and then a truck at a crossing hit THAT and then a plane fell out of the sky and crashed into THAT. And then the whole pile of twisted metal exploded all at once.
    In other words... no thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  7. If you can deal with her:

    Alphabet of STDs
    Crushing depression
    Frequent parole violations
    Drug addiction
    Living in her car
    Crippling credit card debt
    Multiple children from multiple fathers
    Drinking problem
    And worst of all, listening to her shitty songs on her busted-ass guitar from the thrift shop

    You get:
    All the secks. (For money of course)

    ReplyDelete

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