11/01/2016

His and Hernia

Story Sent in by Philip:

I invited Susie to my apartment for our second date. She was a big girl and when we arrived at my door she stopped in the doorway and wouldn't come in. She said, "Carry me across the threshold."

I said, "I think that's reserved for newlyweds."

She said, "Come on! It'll be romantic! Carry me across!"

As mentioned, she was overweight. Enough such that I felt as though picking her up would injure me. I said, "How about we just walk in and I get you a drink?"

She said, "Are you saying I'm too fat?"

I said, "No. I just didn't realize that picking someone up would be expected, tonight."

"Well, it is. I'm waiting."

I said, "Then go ahead and wait. I'll be in here with my wine when you want to join me."

I went in, poured two glasses of wine, sat down in front of my TV, and turned it on. She waited there for I-don't-know-how-long before she finally left without a sound. Never saw her again.

10 comments:

  1. Susie's expectations were a bit high.Not only could she have caused op to get a hernia or a hurt back but she went strait from date 1 and skipped over every other date,the engagement,picking out china patterns,the wedding,and went straight for the wedding night.Someone was in a rush.Also if you know you are overweight then don't ask people if you are.And don't risk someone hurting themselves to carry your robust self over the threshold when it's not even your wedding night and on a second date no less.No man should break his back that early into a relationship.And there really was no relationship.Talk about being a little too comfortable with someone.Expectations running high indeed.Then again perhaps it was all a test to see if op was bothered by her weight.Either way her game plan sucked,and she got no wine because Op got enough of her whine...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel all warm and cozy inside.Thank you.This place has been a bit of a ghost town lately.

      Delete
  2. She should have a taken a weight and see approach.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh ha ha,I see what you done there.

      Delete
  3. Self defeatism in action:

    Friend: how was your date last night?
    Susie: He thought I was too fat.
    Friend: The bastard!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Guess it would've been rude to excuse himself to run down to the local Home Depot or Lowes to borrow a forklift

    ReplyDelete
  5. Susie sounds a bit too much like a spoiled princess if you ask me.
    For the commenters: What if Susie was actually of average weight and OP is a string bean? We cannot know. Different perceptions. The responses would have been different, isn't that interesting.
    jnoble12: Seriously? A forklift joke? That really wasn't worth posting, was it. Fat shaming really needs to stop.

    ReplyDelete

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