10/17/2016

Infernal Pants

Story Sent in by Charlotte:

I don't know why I expected Albert to look sharp for our first date. He wore a pair of light gray jeans that hung only about as high as his knees. He kept picking them up but they kept drooping - and this was annoying as we were taking a walk!

Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I said, "Maybe you can just tighten your belt?"

He said, "If I'm using my belt for anything it's for slapping your mouth shut."

I've taken kickboxing. I'd never had to use it on anyone but I was ready to sock him. But I didn't. I took the high road, took a deep breath, and I stormed on ahead and away from him.

He yelled, "Where are you going? I was kidding! Wait!"

I glanced behind myself but he really struggled to keep up, what with his pants pretty much around his ankles. He did a pathetic sort of hop-run-thing after me and needless to say I was able to outrun him at a brisk walk.

12 comments:

  1. Good Charlotte!I can't stand guys who look like fools with their pants on the ground.That Albert was no Einstein!There's nothing wrong with wearing jeans on a date depending on where you are going as long as the guy is clean looking and they fit like a glove.What woman could resist a firm bubble butt?

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  2. I like to imagine those people with ill-fitting cloths trying to escape a burning movie theater or run away from a bear/serial killer. It gives me hope that natural selection will take over and their genes will be removed from the pool.

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  3. Hmm, should I tell her I'm into belt play now or later? oh wow, she walked right into! perfect! wait, no! Why didn't my perfectly executed plan work!?! I guess team douchebag is waddling off again!

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  4. Perhaps the fellow in question in an ex-con, as "busting a sag" is the preferred way to advertise your sexual availability to potential mates in prison...

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  5. OP left a shitty date! Cookie for the OP!

    If people start leaving shitty dates like they should, will this website go away? Now I'm conflicted.

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    Replies
    1. It would still be a bad date jut a short bad date,with no dinner or dinner to go.

      Delete
    2. Apparently, the website has a bank of stories that could keep it running for the next two years! Don't worry about it.

      Delete
  6. I remember in high school, two boys in front of my friends and I trying to run for the bus to BART. It. Was. HILARIOUS.
    Attempting to run and pants falling down with the added stooping to pick up their pants, followed by the hurried shuffle lol

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  7. That's one memorable date, good you were able to outrun him. Because if not, you might end up in a much worst situation just like the first date stories posted in best service to buy term papers, which are really scary.

    ReplyDelete

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