9/15/2016

I Think That's Admissible in Court

Story Sent in by Brittney:

Colin reached out to me over Plentyoffish. His profile read like a conspiracy theorist's treatise but he somehow or other charmed me into a date.

We met in a park and as we walked the conversation inevitably turned to his favorite tinfoil hat theories. He had a lot to say about President Obama that I won't repeat and then finally asked, "Did you know 9/11 was an inside job?"

I must have rolled my eyes when I said, "I've heard that."

He said, "I know who was behind it."

"Okay."

"Want to know?"

"Sure."

He shouted, "Me!" in my face and then took off at a full sprint across the park and out of my life forever and ever and ever.

17 comments:

  1. I can contest that site has plenty of flakes.Sounds like a guy I went out on a date with.Except his one sided conversation was about cats being aliens and enslaving the human race.He even had proof as he showed pictures of Egyptians worshiping cats.I couldn't argue with logic as I delighted in my lobster ravioli,it was damn good ravioli...

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    Replies
    1. I think you mean "attest" and not "contest".

      Also...

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    2. I contest that statement...

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    3. I went on a date who insisted that all of the "ancient alien civilization" theories were completely true, 9/11 was an inside job, New World Order, and all the rest. That was a lot of crazy packed into one guy. I'm surprised he didn't wear his good tinfoil hat on the date.

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  2. She somehow charmed OP into a date? Come on, you just wanted to have a laugh at his expenses, admit it!

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    1. Yeah, I heard his expenses were pretty terrible. Can't stand a guy with too many bills to pay. Gross.

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    2. What if the gentleman in question has the skillz to pay said bills? I would think that would be an attractive quality in a potential mate.

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    3. :-p Well, he probably spent much in tinfoil and in buying dodgy DVDs from the thruther movement... That's well plenty to laugh at.

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  3. Oh yeah? 7/11 was a part time job! My favorite response.

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    Replies
    1. I give that joke a solid 5/7.

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    2. Damnit, that would have been a better joke. Point to Steve.

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  4. SO the dude was nuts, but you still gave him a chance, expecting different results?

    Bananas, did you write this?

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    Replies
    1. While I do typically give conspiracy theorists a chance, (it's the dedication to detail. yum.) I don't approve of yelling in people's faces. Rude.

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  5. OP forgot to admit to being on the grassy knoll, faking the moon landing and area 51.

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