9/17/2016

I Are Looking Elsewhere

Email Sent in by Mary:

Yo,

You are one hot mommacita. ANyone taking you out now? I can treat you well. I have five jobs and I are millionaire. But what if I am not a millionaire? I will show you my bank statement but then you will go all greedy girl on me and only like me for my money. So you see we're at an impasse. Can you think of what do do here? I will just sit here and get more more more money while you just sit and think and waste everyones time. So heres my solution. I take you out. Give you the night of 10,00000 dreams and you can spend the rest of your life to recover. Make me wait and no dice. So what do you decide?

Daniel

10 comments:

  1. This e-mail has more things wrong with it then I can shake a stick at...He should of just said he was Batman,bitches love Batman...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How many is too many for stick shaking?

      Delete
    2. There is never too many...

      Delete
  2. If you're a millionaire, then what are you doing on online dating sites?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm so tired of that damn pickup artist. I've gotten a dozen guy-is-a-millionaire-(or-is-he)-but-you're-a-gold-digger-I'll-show-you-my-bank-statement-later emails over my years on dating websites. I don't understand why, I only mention that I'm a gold digger once, and it's at the end of my profile!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't see why either. I mean, guys NEVER read to the end of the profile, so that's where you stick all your crazy so you aren't technically lying by not bringing it up in person.

      Delete
  4. *Yawn* I hold out for nothing less than a ten figure bank account, shown to me in a screen shot in your first communication and a night of 10,000000000 dreams. Oh well, guess I'll have to hold out hope for one of the 1% to find my profile, solve the series of riddles I've left there for suitors to prove their worth, and sweep me off my feet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Knittychick... do you knit chicks? the answer is important to me.


      also, for the WIN.

      Delete
    2. No chick knitting for this chica, only sweaters for small spoiled dogs. ­čść

      Delete
  5. Is it wrong that this guy's poor English bothers me less than where he put the comma in that number?

    ReplyDelete

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