9/05/2016

Hot Buzz

Story Sent in by Lori:

Roland's profile photos were all of him with medium or long hair. When we met in a park he had a buzzcut. After we exchanged greetings I pointed out that his hair was shorter than I had expected.

"Is that a good thing?" he asked.

I said, "It looks good. Are you thinking of keeping it short?"

He said, "You should get a buzzcut. Promise me you will?"

I laughed at his joke and said, "I wouldn't look good with hair that short."

"So you don't think I do?"

I said, "I think you do. I'm saying I wouldn't look good with hair that short."

"You would. Come with me. We'll get you a buzzcut, now."

We were supposed to be having a late lunch. I didn't want to change styles to a buzzcut that day. I said, "How about we just go to lunch?"

He said, "I really want you to get a buzzcut. It'll make me feel better about having one."

I laughed and said, "Maybe next time. Let's go to lunch."

"I really want you to get a buzzcut. Will you do that for me? It'll grow back if you don't like it."

He was saying it with utmost seriousness. I wanted to go to lunch. I said, "No. Let's go to lunch."

"I'll buy you lunch if you get a buzzcut."

"No."

"I'll buy you lunch for a week if you get a buzzcut."

I said, "No."

He said, "I won't buy you lunch for a month. I draw the line there."

"Glad that's settled. Ready for lunch, now?"

At lunch all he talked about was me getting a buzzcut. He told me how much he liked having one, how every woman he knew had one, and how he'd even pay for lunch for me for a month if I got one.

I kept turning him down. We split lunch and I never went out with him again.

12 comments:

  1. Op missed out on some great buzzcut sexy time.Nothing say's sexy like rubbing your buzzcuts together and sharing sweet buzzcut kissies.What a buzz kill!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Talk about a buzz killer....

    ReplyDelete
  3. buzz-, buzz-, buzz lightyear to the rescue!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. They would be as the fireflies, buzzing to find one another and ending happy.

    (or they would just seem like crazy people -- you make the call)

    ReplyDelete
  5. She's clearly too young to remember what a hit Demi Moore was in GI Jane.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For the purposes of this post... yes.
      Surprised I didn't jump to Stranger Things, but maybe I just like being my own special snowflake.

      Delete
  6. Seriously JMG, WHAT IS IT WITH THE COMMAS.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A comma is used in a sentence to signify a pause or to assist in a list, i.e. as this, this, and that. It is also used to signify a silent "and," such as "your irritated, over-capitalized comments about Mistah Jay's commas are irrelevant."

      Delete
  7. She must have been pretty darned hungry! Jeez~

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have no buzzcut puns but I do have something naaaaaughty.....

    http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Freaky_2a55b0_2687884.jpg

    ReplyDelete

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