9/26/2016

Funny Business

Story Sent in by Gary:

On the day of my date with Jean she called me to postpone. She said, "I had a dentist appointment and it was lengthier and more painful than I had anticipated."

I joked, "That's what she said."

She paused for a little while before laughing a little and saying, "Yeah... so how about we do tomorrow night?"

The next night I found myself out to drinks with Jean. She said, "So I have to confess: I didn't have a dentist appointment yesterday. I was kind of... recovering from a date I had the night before."

"Recovering?"

She said, "It was the best date I ever had. We slept with each other like a dozen times all night and into the next morning. So that's why I couldn't really make it last night. I was recovering!"

I was a bit speechless but she wasn't done. She followed up with, "So when you said, 'that's what she said' over the phone, for a second I thought you somehow knew! Isn't that funny?"

She laughed and laughed at that. I couldn't do much other than pretend to laugh along. She went on for a really long time about how wonderful it was to sleep with such a well-endowed guy, how the two of them were such a great physical match... it finally hit me (much too late) that she just saw me as a friend-guy to talk/brag to - not as a date.

I spun the "date" down and prepared to leave. But Jean wasn't done. She began to make it personal.

"The really funny part is that I was supposed to be on a date with you while I was with some hot guy!" Oh how she laughed at that. It was so funny.

I stood up and left without saying goodbye. Even left her with the tab. Isn't that funny?

15 comments:

  1. This is perfect. She really didn't like the "that's what she said" crack and took a day out to come up with the ultimate smackdown. Delivered!

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    1. That phrase was funny back in high school....I agree with you.Whether Jean did or did not have sex with hot guy does not matter because I think the only reason why she bothered to keep a date with OP was to brag and make him feel like less of a man.She wins the burn...

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  2. Yup,that's what she said!Dwight,is that you?

    Leaving her stuck with a drink tab is not really a good burn,so Jean payed for OP's beer.That really taught her a lesson,not!Why do people stick around to be punished?!Just get up and leave all ready!Op just wanted a free beer and Jean gets her jollies emasculating non hot guys...

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  3. I hate "that's what he/she said" - it is so last decade, and not funny anymore. In fact, it's quite immature and annoying.

    As for sticking her with the tab, despite the fact that she was rude, two wrongs don't make a right. You both sound very immature.

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    1. That's what she said.

      I'll get my coat.

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  4. Confession: I love "that's what he/she said" jokes.

    That being said, they should be reserved for close friends with a similar sense of humor. Breaking that out on the phone with a girl you are about to go on a first date with is a stupid move and a risky gamble. If she made up the whole story or if she had her uterine wall pummeled, I think OP got what he deserved. Leaving her with the check was pretty petty.

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    1. Agreed. I still enjoy a good "that's what she said", as well as a good Chuck Norris. The classics have no expiration date.

      My favourite Chuck - Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

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  5. I think he's just angry and embarrassed that he's not as well-endowed as the hot guy from the night before. He had to run out so fast so she didn't see how ashamed he was-- otherwise he would have just paid the tab!

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  6. I'm confused with the timing of these transgressions. The girl says that she was recovering YESTERDAY from a date TWO DAYS ago. Then she says how funny it was that she was "with a hot guy when I was supposed to be on a date with you," which would have been YESTERDAY. It doesn't make sense, so she obviously made everything up.

    Chunky Horse should chainsaw off at LEAST 1 finger for her lies.

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    1. Ok,Steve pay attention and follow along as I interpret the language of woman to you..see Jean went out with hot guy two nights before and they ended up staying up all night doing the deed and then they did the deed some more all morning and who knows how long into the day.The very day she was supposed to have a date with non hot guy.So as you see,what Jean said made sense.Although I think she made the hot guy up because of the "That's what she said" remark.And another thing,oh please, you know very well Chunky horse approves!

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    2. Well, this is one of the advantages I have, being hung like a baby carrot - there is no recover time needed, ladies!

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    3. Tell the truth Steve, you sent this one in didn't you?

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    4. Steve,do you bring along a bottle of ranch dressing on dates?Because ranch dressing really brings out the flavor in baby carrots.

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  7. They both sound like a couple of twats. I would've left too...after paying for my drinks though.

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