8/16/2016

The Man Who Wasn't There

Story Sent in by Nina:

I was out to dinner with Joe and he went to the bathroom. He didn't come back for a long time and so I left the table to go check on him. He said he was fine and would be right out.

When he came back to the table he didn't sit down. He said, "Joe had to leave. Sorry."

I said, "Uh, but you are Joe. Is this some game?"

He said, "Sorry. I'm Joe's friend. Joe had to leave. Have a good night."

What was strange was that Joe didn't leave after saying that. He just stood there and stared at me as if it was up to me to leave. But I still had half my meal left (and Joe had left most of his) and I wasn't leaving until I was done. With or without him.

I said, "Fine. Tell him it's his loss." I then ate the rest of my dinner while he stayed and stood and watched. When the waitress came by to take my plate (Joe hadn't touched any of his food while he stood there stupidly) I asked her to box up his food as well.

I could tell he wanted to say something about that but hey - he wasn't Joe, after all. So what right did he have to the food that Joe had ordered? I paid for both meals, left him staring at me in the restaurant, and took his food home with me. I wasn't about to waste it!

18 comments:

  1. He was testing you... but for once on this site I have no idea the intention of the test was to prove about you.

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  2. My theory: He was testing how much crazy she could handle. She passed and dodged the crazy bullet.

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    Replies
    1. Good observation. Pretty sick because a lot of crazy people are so oblivious to what they put their partner through. Scary to think of someone aware and wanting to find a girl "down" with his crazy but testing her limits.

      Nice dodge OP

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    2. Good observation. Pretty sick because a lot of crazy people are so oblivious to what they put their partner through. Scary to think of someone aware and wanting to find a girl "down" with his crazy but testing her limits.

      Nice dodge OP

      Delete
  3. Nah, just another leaf from the book "The Coward's Guide: 1001 ways to act idiot when you're not into your date and scare them away"

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    Replies
    1. I just try to fake my own death, or I just look at my phone and then sit up and shout "Bob Frost is dead!?! I thought poets lived forever -- like dragons!" Then I leave in tears. This always works.

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  4. I would of told him,"That's ok,Nina left while you were in the bathroom,I'm her evil twin"Tina"."I'm going to finish my dinner as I think of devious plans for tonight...by the way I'm taking your dinner home with me so say bye,bye to it."

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  5. No one thinks it's gross that she wants to eat some complete (crazy) stranger's leftovers?!

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    Replies
    1. I would not eat after someone I did not know but perhaps the op believed that microwaves kill cooties

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    2. It doesn't say he ate any of it. Maybe he went to the restroom soon after it arrived and didn't eat any of it.

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  6. Look, he was just following the first rule. You got a problem with that, you take it up with Tyler.

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  7. I think he met someone else at the bar, convinced her he was eating dinner with his sister and they were just finishing. He couldn't walk away from the table and his " sister" with the new paramour watching.

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    Replies
    1. I think you nailed it. He met a new "paramour" while he was in the bathroom.

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    2. I've never been simultaneously squicked out and laughing, well played.

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  8. she was on a date with the machinist

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  9. OP obviously doesn't know how to have a proper staring contest

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  10. Well it's pretty obvious that JMG is the author of every story here – I'm fairly sure he's curious how long he can keep coming up with relatively fresh ones, and that he'd never thought it would last this long. But then this longevity has apparently come at the price of being pretty formulaic: each story features a person obnoxiously insisting on an obviously nonsensical and failing act that ends up destroying the date, leaving the readers trying to guess the motivation behind said act – even though at least in the vast majority, if not all, of the cases, the author simply never came up with a motivation or even an explanation for the act.

    Yet here I am every day.

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    Replies
    1. Right, so many dates go perfectly that Mistah Jay is forced to make up his own stories just to entertain us.

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