8/07/2016

So Say We All

Profile Sent in by James:

My self-summary

Looking for a grown up. No grown ups on this site so I'll have to make my own. Hi Loretta how are you? I am fine thanks. I had a rough day at work. Okay Loretta why don't I cook you dinner and dessert and give you a massage? That would be nice. Would you like dinner or massage first? I will take them both at the same time. Okay you are now making dinner and not massaging me. Now you are massaging me but not making me dinner. I asked you to do both. No. Try harder. You are not doing both like I asked. Okay now I have to kick you out and find a new man. Just looking for grown ups here.

11 comments:

  1. Look in the mirror and you still won't find one...

    ReplyDelete
  2. There's specialised sites for this you know... If you like to wear leather and yield a whip, you'll find many keen "grown ups" who will be willing to be treated like shit...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Aye, when is my story going to be posted? I submitted it up a few days ago.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have a story backlog approaching two years. If you send me tasty snacks, that will shorten the review window. Sayin'.

      Delete
    2. Wow, I had no idea. I thought you just hated me. :p

      Delete
    3. It's my cis-hetero-white privilege, isn't it?

      Delete
  4. You could knead bread dough on her back, I think that would count as both. Otherwise, tenderize a steak with one of those spiky hammer thingies (technical term).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the yeast will feel great and the meat will soften the hitty ouches (also a technical term)

      Delete
  5. I guess it says a lot about your level of standards when not even your imaginary friends can hit the mark.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I guess it says a lot about your level of standards when not even your imaginary friends can hit the mark.

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.