8/25/2016

Half a Mind

Story Sent in by Marco:

Marie and I were at a local cafe. Neither of us were too hungry so we agreed to split a sandwich.

The sandwich arrived whole and I cut it in half to the best of my ability. I gave her her half and she gave me a look. She said, "You're taking the bigger half. That's classy."

I didn't even realize that I had done that. The halves looked pretty equal to me. But I didn't care either way so I gave her my half and took back the one I had given her.

"Seriously?" she asked.

"What's wrong now?"

She said, "You still have the bigger half."

I told her, "I gave you one half. You said I had the bigger half. Then I gave you mine and now that one's bigger? They can't both be the bigger half."

She took her sandwich half and started eating it. "Whatever. Be greedy," she said.

But I wasn't letting go of this. "You just said both halves were the bigger half. Are you trying to pick a fight?"

"You took the bigger half! It doesn't matter."

"Clearly it does."

She threw down her half on her plate and said, "Now I won't have any of it! Happy?" and she took off.

I ended up eating both halves. Yum.

16 comments:

  1. Apparently someone was hungry.Hungry for companionship.Hungry for sex.But the hunger for food conquered over all.And in the end,one hunger was satisfied.The morale of this story is that when a woman say's she is not really hungry,it means she's really hungry.Never share food with a woman.They will eat most of it.You ate that sandwich like a boss op.Sure,it had bite marks on it and possible lipstick stains but never the less you ate it like a boss.You owned that sandwich.And no crazy woman could every take that away from you.Stay gold...

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    Replies
    1. I regret to inform you that as Bananas' Field Agent, I can only grant you 5/7 for this post, due to lack of spaces between sentences.

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    2. yes quite funny, but spaces are ideal.

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    3. I like her writing style!I think it's trendy.Mayhaps Steve you have TOO MANY spaces.Look at me, typing like a boss.Gotta OWN it!
      Also, OP took a bite of the sandwich before offering her the other half.That is how he did that.Very clever.

      Delete
    4. Well, she added a couple extra in "nevertheless", so there's that.

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    5. Did not realize I typed that many words to construct more then one paragraph.Boy,do I have egg on my face...

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    6. oh,you were perhaps speaking of my use of ellipsis dots?They are...groovy.

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  2. Obviously you didn't follow the pre-dinner ritual and this upset your date.

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    Replies
    1. Why's it gotta be brothers with chicken and waffles??

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  3. This would have never happened to Joey - Joey doesn't share food

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  4. Didn't your mom teach you? If you cut the cake, the other person picks the piece. But never date a person who doesn't understand math.

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    Replies
    1. 45% of Mr agrees with this, and the other 70% just wants a sandwich.

      Delete
  5. I guess she thinks size is important?

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