7/19/2016

Mixed Thinks

Story Sent in by Kelly:

Jim thought it was a great idea to bring me to a library on our first date. But he told me that they had a very special vending machine in the basement.

He told me, "It sells alcohol. They got it from Europe."

I was doubtful but I followed him into the library and down to the basement. There were no vending machines down there at all. He became distraught and ran upstairs to the reference desk and asked them where the liquor vending machine was.

Their reactions were priceless. Everything from, "Sir we've never had any sort of vending machine" to "Have you tried a bar?"

Jim became more and more upset. "I know it's here. I just used it last month. I know it's here!"

I suggested, "Maybe we can go have dinner? We can drink whatever we want."

"They're lying. I bet they took it back into the librarians' lounge. I want that vending machine," he said.

And so he dragged me all over the building, we found no alcohol vending machine, and he finally said to me, "I'm going to the alcohol book section. There might be some info there."

There were books on mixing drinks and even history books on brewing. He sat down with a few and read. I said, "How about you meet me at the restaurant? I'm hungry."

He said that was fine and I left. But I didn't go to any restaurant. I went home.

11 comments:

  1. I thought he was leading you to the basement for impure reasons. Turns out he was just a fucking nut.

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  2. Actually, a first date to the library sounds fun! Maybe I'm just a nerd.

    Still this guy is weird

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I usually take my womens to the DMV...

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  3. Isn't the entire library the librarians' lounge?

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    Replies
    1. Part of it is sleeping quarters for hobos.

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  4. No one here is asking the right question. What I want to know is whether these vending machines do, in fact, exist, and, if so, where I can acquire one for myself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Japan: https://triplelights.com/blog/liquorbeer-vending-machin-330

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    2. Always asking the right questions! That's why the commentariat respects you! (Also please see if we get a discount ordering liquor vending machines in bulk.)

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    3. From a vending machine in Frankfurt, Germany I bought a can of Jack-n-Coke. Literally, Jack Daniels whiskey mixed with Coca-Cola, in glorious and convenient can form.

      Delete

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