5/03/2016

Women's Glib

(What did Oscar-winning screenwriter Charles Randolph (The Big Short) teach me about writing? Find out on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Daniel:

Lizabeth told me that she wanted to pay for our first date, making it clear that she liked the idea of switching stereotypical gender roles. I asked her over email if she was really okay with it and she said she was.

We had dinner out and it went fine. When the check came she took it and I asked her again, just to be sure, if she was okay paying for everything.

She slammed the check down and said, "Is all of human history not enough for you? How much longer are you going to repress me? I said I'd pay and I'd pay! I dress myself, feed myself, and even have a job! I don't need you to pay! Not now! Not ever! I can do this! I can pay! I'm gonna pay! I'm not gonna let you stop me! Go ahead! Try and stop me! Try! Try!"

I was frozen. I wasn't even sure how I'd try, even if I'd wanted to.

"Try!" she yelled, "I told you to try! Now you don't want to try, anymore?"

I said, "I never wanted to try."

"You argued with me over paying the check."

"I asked if you were sure you wanted to pay it all. I was being nice."

"Well you came off like a dick. I'm paying and then we're done."

She did, we were, and that was it.

12 comments:

  1. OMFG, we finally had ONE chick that WASN'T a dinner wh0re, and OP effing ruins it for us all?!?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, WTF?!?!

    OP was the bad date x a million!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah, I probably wouldn't have reacted as intensely as Lizzie did, but sheesh, if someone offers to pay accept good grace and don't act like she's a monkey attempting advanced calculus. That is realllllly annoying.

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  3. Daniel, yes means yes, just like no means no. You were being annoying.

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  4. OP was annoying, repeatedly asking if she was sure she wanted to pay. Sort of like when my husband keeps asking if I'm mad when I'm not to the point that I get mad because he asked so much.

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    Replies
    1. what's wrong, hun?

      nothing just a bit tired.

      but are you ok?

      yes, of course babe.

      .....you sure?

      *murderous scream*

      Delete
    2. Your husband is doing it wrong. In my house, I tackle my wife and tickle her until she tells me what's wrong...

      Delete
    3. Steve-the majority of the time, there's nothing wrong and I'm not mad.

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    4. The point is, you deserve to get tickled until you own up to SOMETHING... :-) It's like the Spanish Inquisition...

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    5. That's mean, especially for a person who is very ticklish. Heck, I'd confess to assassinating JFK (and I was born after 1963) if that would get someone to stop tickling me.

      Delete
  5. Be told OP: listen first time! Women don't like to repeat the same thing over and over again! Well... Men don't either.

    In a way, she's got good reason to be annoyed but... Her reaction was really dickish.

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  6. He was trying to be fucking NICE.........she was a cunt period.

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  7. This story reeks of being altered. I think it's most likely that her reaction was smaller (maybe she shouted, but didn't go on that long a rant) and he asked her a lot more than the twice he mentioned.

    ReplyDelete

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