4/14/2016

What They Say About Small Heads

Story Sent in by Lynn:

On my dinner date with Alonzo he sneezed a few times and then told me he thought he had the Zika virus. After this startling confession he excused himself immediately to use the restroom.

When he returned a while later I asked him what made him think he had Zika. He explained that he kept measuring his head and that it was smaller every time he measured it. He then apologized to me for "exposing" me to it and for "exposing" my future children to it.

He said, "Now they'll all have small heads and it'll be my fault. Sorry."

He paid for dinner and we went our separate ways. For fun, I emailed him a few days later and asked, "How's your head?"

He replied, "Even smaller, today. Thanks for asking. How's yours?"

I wrote back, "It's bigger, oddly enough. Or maybe it just looks bigger compared to your own shrinkage."

He didn't write back to that.

11 comments:

  1. He was setting the stage to prepare her for his small penis. Why else would he immediately apologize for his small head?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like you OP, well played.

    ReplyDelete
  3. He's just not that into you...

    ReplyDelete
  4. You know what they say about a guy with a big head....

    "Haha, oh god that guy is so disproportionate!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "You should probably see a doctor because I think you are suffering from hydrocephalism"?

      Delete
    2. "Wow, Todd is starting a band with some monsters!"

      Delete
    3. I'm digging that reference.

      Delete
    4. Bananas doesn't get the reference, Duck... She'll have to ask her husband. Millennials like her don't understand the relevance of anything that happened prior to what is right in their iMessages... sigh...

      Delete
    5. Millenials. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

      Delete
    6. Millennials, hipsters... same difference to me, both equally qualified to receive my loathing...

      Delete
  5. OP, you dated the village idiot it seems. Good thing you left cause if you stayed, the line between "girlfriend" and "support worker" would have been very thin indeed...

    ReplyDelete

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