4/27/2016

Main Squeeze

Story Sent in by Jeffrey:

I was out to dinner with Clara, who I had met on Match. In the middle of our meal she went to the bathroom, came back, and announced, "I pooped!"

"Congratulations," I replied.

She said, "Aren't you gonna ask me how I did it so quickly?"

Upon reflection, she hadn't been gone for more than a couple of minutes. That was pretty fast. So I asked, "How?"

She said, "By starting as soon as I walked into the bathroom. It takes a few seconds for it all to work together, so I just start squeezing as soon as I walk in. By the time I'm on the toilet, it's ready to go. It's how our ancestors did it. I read an article."

I said, "What if you walk in and start squeezing and there are no open toilets?"

She laughed and said, "Then I'm in trouble!" and then she laughed even more. I laughed along with her. How silly!

Last date.

11 comments:

  1. Oh. My. God. She really brought the sexy to the date.

    So, she walks in to the bathroom already working on dropping a deuce, but what about toilet preparation? Also, points to the OP for asking a pertinent question about occupied stalls. I guess she could've asked to share.

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  2. I like how she's using prairie-dogging as a life hack...

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  3. She laughed and said, "Then I'm in trouble!" and then she laughed even more. I laughed along with her. How silly! = http://joyreactor.com/post/1314299.

    I'm sorry, I'm not high speed enough to do the word hyperlink in these comments. *sulks in the corner*

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    Replies
    1. Here's the code since I liked your link. (a href="your link between these quotes")text you want to be red goes here(/a) Now replace the parenthesis with the grater than and less than symbols and you got it!

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    2. ^Thanks, Architect! :)

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    3. Fizziks taught me and now I'm sharing the wealth. God I miss that fat bitch!

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    4. <a href="you mean like this?"&>Because if you use the right html special characters and formatting you can to a lot of stuff on here.</a> <b>Like making text bold,</b> <i>or italic!</i>

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    5. I'm in the process of reading the archives (yes, work has been slow) and I miss her too. She brought a certain flavor to the comments section. Or maybe that was just the stench of overcrowding from the unwashed masses living in her cavernous vagina.

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    6. This is true. How ironic that she actually does have someone living in her vagina now. I'm thinking she will name her 1st born Jarrrrrrrrrred.

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  4. I bet she also does kegel exercises at red lights... my kinda gal...

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