4/30/2016

Keep Your Dark Chambers to Yourself

(What did Oscar-winning screenwriter Charles Randolph (The Big Short) teach me about writing? Find out on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Email Sent in by Polina:

Important Polina -

In the mood for MaGiC? I can teach you the arts of ancient magic. Not just in books and kids parties but the magic is real and all around. It is in the dark chambers of the world. Hidden between trees and under leaves is the magic I will show you. This is not the dirty magic. I will not tell you about the "wand of my pants". But you should learn about the magic that is everywhere. If you do not then I am not responsible to meet you and those who give up on the magic are probably not worth my time. My magic is of the air and ground. Will you learn it with me? If not then I curse the curse of scorpionz on you and seven of your generations to come. DO NOT RISK THIS. WRITE ME NOW.

Ryan

6 comments:

  1. Won't someone think of the poor scorpionz!

    ReplyDelete
  2. question: why kind of scorpions? because the giant fat ones are harmless and adorable.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Threatening people to get them to respond to you! Always a great way to start a relationship!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In the olden days before the internet, abusive partners were waiting until at least until they were engaged before using threats and blackmail...

      Delete
  4. Yeah, watch me disappear!

    ReplyDelete
  5. In the mood for MaGiC? I can teach you the arts of ancient magic. Not just in books and kids parties but the magic is real and all around. It is in the dark chambers of the world. Hidden between trees and under leaves is the magic I will show you. This is not the dirty magic. I will not tell you about the "wand of my pants". But you should learn about the magic that is everywhere. If you do not then I am not responsible to meet you and those who give up on the magic are probably not worth my time. My magic is of the air and ground. Will you learn it with me? If not then I curse the curse of scorpionz on you and seven of your generations to come. DO NOT RISK THIS. WRITE ME NOW.

    ReplyDelete

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