4/13/2016

I Skate. You Skate. We Skate.

Story Sent in by Clinton:

I talked over a dating site with Kristin and she said she could meet me at my place on a Saturday morning to go have lunch and perhaps spend the day together. I looked forward to meeting her.

On Saturday morning, I found Kristin at my door with ripped jeans, a ripped shirt, a battered ball cap, and two skateboards. She asked me, "You ready?"

I was dressed for lunch, a stroll, a movie, billiards... but not really skateboarding. Let me also state for the record that nothing on my profile (or hers for that matter) mentioned skateboarding. She hadn't said a thing about it in any of our messages. And I hadn't even climbed up on one in over 15 years. But maybe it would be fun. Maybe?

She was clearly a pro. She did jumps and flips with her board up and down the street and sidewalk. I... was barely able to keep my balance. She kept saying, "It's okay, don't worry about it. You said it's been a while," and a large part of me wondered why she thought it would be a good idea to essentially humiliate me as her first act.

When I was finally able to balance for a little bit and stayed on for a while, she stopped me and said, "I'm gonna show you something amazing, now."

She took back the board she had lent me and climbed back up on her own. I thought she was going to do some amazing trick with both boards. Instead, she powered away as fast as she could, never to return. Well, that was fun.

10 comments:

  1. She thought you were a skater boi
    She said 'Seeya later, boi'
    You weren't good enough for her

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With any luck he'll become a superstar
      Slamming on his guitar
      And show pretty face just what he's worth

      Delete
    2. @ Andrea - I love staring at your Ash.

      Delete
  2. Narcissism meets immaturity.

    I'm all for wanting to do something you're good at on a date. You know, show off some skill or knowledge. But when it's something that requires a certain amount of preparation (wardrobe) and athleticism, the considerate thing to do would be to discuss it in advance.

    The OP rolled with it like a champ even if he did suck sweaty monkey balls at skateboarding, but the date showed her true douchey colors in the end. OP is better off.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I feel like this girl is taking vengeance on every guy that takes a girl out for playing basketball, video games, bowling, or any other activity in which they have no prior skill, allowing the other person to just show off.

    I did like how she booked a hasty retreat though. I imagine a smoke cloud shaped like a girl on a skateboard left in her wake.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Studies show that women who skate are much more promiscuous.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Studies show that your FACE is more promiscuous, Steve!!! HA!

      I need a hobby.

      Delete
    2. Is that your way of asking for oral?

      Delete
    3. STEVE. I am a married woman! I can't believe you'd even suggest such a thing on this wholesome site! You're such a pig. God.











      Comment oral, on the other hand, is a totally different story.

      Delete
    4. Whether it's comment oral or real oral, one thing is for certain; either way, I'm writing the alphabet...

      Delete

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