4/26/2016

A Bad Case of the Grapes

Story Sent in by Irma:

When Tim took me out to dinner he asked if he could sculpt me. It was a weird question as nothing on his profile - and nothing he had ever said - indicated that he was a sculptor.

He said, "You'd inspire me. If you let me sculpt you then I would just be inspired to become a master at it."

The next time we hung out I went to his house and he had cleared out his kitchen into a sculpting studio. He closed the window blinds and told me to undress. He then gave me bunches of red grapes and said that I could hold them over myself if I felt uncomfortable. I did as he asked and posed while holding the grapes over everything I didn't want him to see just yet. He put down some newspapers, set down a small lump of brown clay, and went to work at sculpting me.

He was really good at kneading the clay, but didn't sculpt it into any recognizable shape. He asked me a few times if I'd move the grapes away from where I was holding them, but I didn't. He then excused himself to use the nearby bathroom and very obviously was pleasuring himself. It was really uncomfortable so I put the grapes on his counter, threw my clothes on, and left.

After an hour he called to ask me where I went and I told him I was uncomfortable with the situation. He yelled and asked me why I had agreed to do it in the first place, then said he was still going to eat all the grapes.

15 comments:

  1. Wait... OP? You thought that was a second date plan? *forehead slap*

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  2. So the first date must have gone REALLY well. Well enough for you to want to go to a virtual stranger's house, get naked, and hold a bunch of grapes in front of your exciting bits while said stranger thought about doing you. No wonder he kept kneading the clay. He just couldn't get the shape right.

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  3. I should NOT have clicked tha'. I should NOT have clicked tha'.

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    Replies
    1. Isn't that pic what you've been promising me??

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    2. I keep that sculpture in my kitchen next to my meat grinder.

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    3. Admit it: hermaphroditic sculptures intrigue you.

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  4. Seriously, OP? SERIOUSLY?? I can't even... OMG...

    Where were all these retarded women when I was dating? I only met dinner wh0res... :-( And that one midget that one time...

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  5. To be fair to the OP, I know a surprising number (now that I think of it) of men and women who are completely comfortable being nude in front of people they barely know. Quite a few I first met while they were naked or close to. People who are used to modeling also tend to have zero qualms about it. They just don't see any shame in it, nor do I for that matter. OP was smart to bail when she got uncomfortable.

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    Replies
    1. It isn't about shame. It's about being naked around a creeper, locked up in his apartment, and 20+ feet away from the pepper spray in your purse buried under a pile of cloths. Shame has nothing to do with it. It's the stupidity that concerns me.

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    2. It's a female ego thing (SheGo). She SO wanted believe that her beauty INSPIRED the artistic yearnings of this dude, she was will to forego any kind of sense, common or otherwise. They thought that MAYBE this guy is just a creeper that wants to get you naked, and then eat grapes that scraped against your hoo-ha never enters her mind.

      The sculpture bit is at least a nice variation. Usually the guys are always "amateur photographers."

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  6. If Tim was smart, he would have said that he needed to feel her to be able to form the clay properly. If Irma was smart, she would have taken the grapes with her.

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  7. This must be a joke. "The next time we hung out, I went to his house and took off all my clothes."

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  8. Sorry, not buying it. I gotta call bullsquirt on this one.

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