3/07/2016

You Tell Me

(Which screenwriting software is the best? Plus a bonus character development question, on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Mia:

Chris grabbed my butt within less than 30 seconds of having met me. And we were right on a busy street! Rude much? He brought me to a diner for lunch and sat next to me in a booth, as opposed to across from me. That was weird.

It was explained when he decided to spend most of the time grabbing at my butt. First few times he did it I shifted away, hoping he'd get the hint. But soon I was pressed up against the wall and I had nowhere else to go so he just kept grabbing at me all through lunch.

When we left the diner and walked down the street he kept pinching my butt. Luckily since we were outside I could move away from him more freely.

He must have noticed that I kept moving away because he finally asked, "What's wrong?"

I asked him, "Can you stop grabbing my butt?"

He asked, "You don't like it? I guess I can stop. Sure."

He stopped for about a minute before grabbing my butt again. We sat down on a park bench and he kept grabbing at me. I finally couldn't take it anymore and told him to stop once and for all.

He did and he was pouty for the rest of the date. When it was finally time for goodbyes, of course he grabbed my butt when he hugged me. What is wrong with people?

16 comments:

  1. Yeah. My date with him would've ended after that first 30 seconds.

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  2. OP's problem for not setting boundaries and enforcing them.

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  3. I guess everyone got what they wanted on this date. He got to grab her ass for a few hours and she got a free dinner. Everyone wins!

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  4. WHat is wrong with people? What is wrong with you?! You were seriously worried about offending someone who molested you after you just met him? That's what happened to you sweetie, you were molested repeatedly. Not telling him to stop after the first time was really awful. I can't believe you stayed. However, whether you said anything or not, what he did was horrible, even after you finally asked him to stop. You should call the police though and make a report on him, his behavior will only escalate. If you'd gone out again you may have been date raped.

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  5. From the way you write, I have the feeling you're pretty young. It doesn't matter how annoyed a person gets, or how what arguments they come up with; the MOMENT you feel uncomfortable, get the HELL out of there. A person that would grope you so quickly without even a hint of shame or constraint is ONLY going to keep doing it. They're ONLY going to keep doing more and more until they find a moment to take EVERYTHING. do you understand me? NEVER let a situation like that last so long again. Nothing you do or don't do, absolutely NOTHING, can justify rape, but you can stop it before it begins with firm convictions, a clever head, and the ability to recognize a bad situation.

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  6. "he was pouty for the rest of the date"

    .. and then for some reason, he did it again on our next date!

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  7. WTF? Why was he not punched in the face after the first warning? Get some goddamn self respect, OP, and punch that motherfucker if he dares touch you after you told him to stop.

    I am seriously raging after reading this.

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  8. I find this tough to believe. That said,I hate to admit there are women in the world like this. It makes it more difficult for the rest of us when women don't stand up for themselves. Was the free meal worth your self-respect.

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    1. Um, I'd say it was the predatory gropers like this dude who make it more difficult for the rest of us. If they didn't violate people, then those people wouldn't be being told they need to stand up for themselves. Sometimes they are too scared to stand up for themselves. Victim blaming. Not cool.

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  9. Yeah, who HINTS that it's wrong for a stranger to keep touching their ass? I mean, he's an asshole, and had no business touching you against your will, this is arguably assault. But please, advocate for yourself. Think of yourself as another innocent person if you have to, if it's too hard to do it "for yourself", but you do not have to put up with someone grabbing at you just because you consented to a date.

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  10. WHY oh WHY didn't you do a favor to all women everywhere by knocking the asshat on his back after he CONTINUED to touch you? Is a free meal really worth having an essential stranger touch you in an uncomfortable manner? Honestly, I think both of y'all were idiots here. Him, for ignoring your boundaries on such a blatant manner, and you for putting up with it.
    However, just because he's taking you out on a date does not give him the right to touch you and make you uncomfortable. Hell, your existence does not in any way, shape, or form give consent. If anyone does anything that makes you uncomfortable, you say something or it has the chance to get worse. I learned that the hard way.

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  11. I'm thinking that the OP is still very young. I remember a lot of shady things that happened to me as a duckling, because not all of us were born with a confident voice and clearcut understanding that consent is important even outside of the bedroom scenarios we see on tv.

    I hope that the OP sees some of these comments and realizes she has the right to speak up when her boundaries are crossed. It doesn't matter if it's a hand down your pants or just a hug, you can absolutely tell a person to kindly fuck off. Anyone who persists is not someone worth sticking around for.

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  12. Yes, because the appropriate response to a guy acting like an asshole this way is TO SHAME THE WOMAN FOR NOT FIXING IT.

    OP, you did nothing wrong. As women, we're trained not to be mean or judgemental, and to give guys the benefit of the doubt. I can guarantee you that these same people here going "Why didn't you punch him?!" would be telling you you overreacted if you did. Fuck them.

    But you also don't need to worry about being "rude" or "mean" to a guy who treats you this way. Say no. Loudly demand "Why are you grabbing me? I just met you! I don't know you!" When he protests that you are uptight or he means it as a compliment, tell him "Bullshit! No one deserves to be treated this way." And leave. End the date. End all contact. To hell with people like this.

    But to reiterate: NONE OF THIS WAS YOUR FAULT. You did nothing wrong.

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    1. Seriously? I don't blame the victim for the first time. She wasn't "asking for it" or anything like that. But she didn't even ask him to stop until after the whole horrible meal was over. And then he didn't even then, and she still stayed around. Pinch me once, blame on you. Pinch me 50 times, shame on the "victim"

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  13. Victim blaming, my ass.

    It's not that anyone would blame her for being sexually harassed; it's much more how she seems to consider this a minor annoyance even in hindsight.

    He obviously grew up thinking it's okay for men to keep testing their limits with women and get physical even in the face of rejection. Unfortunately, she seems to be somewhat resigned to this view.

    I'm not blaming a victim for failing to stand up for herself. I simply feel that the victim is not even aware that she was victimized. I think it would empower her to realize that she has sovereign authority over who gets to touch her body, and society has been thankfully shifting towards fully supporting her rights in this matter.

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