3/17/2016

πŸ‘«➡️πŸ’©

Story Sent in by Jeanette:

James seemed smart in my first several interactions with him over a dating website. But I noticed that when we transferred the conversation to text, he was an emoji maniac. He'd write: "How are you??? πŸ˜‡πŸ˜‰πŸ˜ŠπŸ™‚πŸ™ƒπŸ˜—πŸ˜™πŸ˜š"

I guess it wasn't too bothersome at first but it was every freaking text. I'd write, "How was your day?"

He'd reply, "😸😹😻😼"

I'd say, "I don't know what that means."

He'd write back, "πŸ‘–πŸ‘–πŸ‘–πŸ‘–πŸ‘–"

I responded, "I don't know what five pairs of pants means. Can you speak English?"

"Sorry. I had a great day!!! Did you?"

"I did. Stressful. But I think I'm on the short list for a promotion! But I'll probably have some late nights there over the next two weeks."

"πŸ‘³πŸΎπŸ’₯πŸ‘³πŸΎ"

"Uh. Okay..."

"I'm excited for you! πŸ¦ƒπŸ’©"

"Thanks I think. You mentioned wanting to meet up this Saturday? How's your afternoon looking?"

"πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘ŒπŸΏ"

"What? Can you just switch to English?"

"You need a better sense of humor! Let's hang out Saturday!"

He toned it down with the emojis for the rest of the week but it was still exorbitant. We arranged to meet at a local cafe that Saturday.

I made it there before he did and after a while it was clear that he was going to be late. I texted him, "I'm here!"

He wrote back, "I'll be a little late. On my way!!! πŸ†˜"

I wasn't sure how to read his "SOS" emoji. I therefore wrote back, "Everything okay?"

He replied, "Yep! πŸ‘ŽπŸ½πŸ‘ŽπŸ½πŸ‘ŽπŸ½"

Three thumbs down. Hmm. Okay. I decided to take his word for it that everything was fine.

After waiting a while longer I wrote, "Seriously, are you okay? It's been a half hour."

He texted, "Yes! Sorry!!! I'm coming!!! πŸ™ŽπŸ½πŸ‘ŠπŸΎ☠"

Something was really wrong, here. I was in a public place but I suddenly had a bad feeling and I didn't want to meet him anymore. I texted him, "I'm going home. Maybe next time."

A normal guy probably would've called at that point but he texted, "πŸ–•πŸ½☠☠☠☠☠"

I texted, "πŸš”" and blocked him on my phone and on the dating website. I'm pretty sure I did the right thing.

10 comments:

  1. He was probably a Nigerian scammer...

    ReplyDelete
  2. WTH, I think he intended to poison you, OP...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think so. I'm pretty sure the skull and cross bones means sexy time. At least that's what all those pirate themed pornos would have me believe.

      Delete
  3. Hey someone who had a gut feeling that something was wrong and. Left accordingly? Almost unheard of!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Misplaced period. Damn BlackBerry.

      Delete
    2. It's because people leaving because of a gut feeling does not make good story material...

      Delete
  4. How old were you two? Also "better sense of humor"?? Sending a pants emoji makes zero sense. This man was ridiculous.

    ReplyDelete
  5. That is some mastery skills of the art of mixed message!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Really? That's the best impression James could make? Instead of using words, he uses emoji, which aren't the easiest way to communicate. And to be honest, typing out a sentence doesn't take that long.

    ReplyDelete
  7. If she had a better sense of humor she would have recognized the "do-it" symbol.

    ReplyDelete

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