2/04/2016

Your Circuit's Dead, Is Something Wrong?

Story Sent in by Jennifer:

Before my first date with Harry he expressed an interest in showing me his "rocket ship." At first I thought this was a euphemism for his dick and I asked him about it point-blank.

He laughed and said, "No, I'm talking about my car. The rocket ship."

Feeling a bit better about it (but still a little weirded out) we progressed to a first date. While we were out together, Harry led me to his car.

It looked like a patchwork, Frankensteined monstrosity made of several different pieces. Like he had walked through a car showroom and picked a door from this, a hood from that, a trunk from that. Different colors, barely fitting together. Like a half-assed transformer.

"The rocket ship!" he barked, "Climb aboard!"

We were standing almost right next to our destination: a coffee shop. I had no reason to climb into any vehicle, least of all Harry's rocket ship. So I hesitated.

Harry didn't, though. He jumped in, revved the insanely loud engine, and took off down the block without me.

I waited for him to come back, and he did. Well, to honk and wave at me as I remained where I was and watched. He sped on, never to return.

14 comments:

  1. Reminds me of an icarly episode. I'd take out my phone and play star wars theme

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my sweet summer child... you dodged a rocket this time.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Rocket 69, Rocket, 69.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Chick is disinterested in a dude because he drives an inexpensive/non-flashy car? WHOA! STOP THE PRESSES!

    Maybe he's a fiscally-responsible guy who spent peanuts on his vehicle of choice, and used his own talents to procure parts from various junkyards and get it roadworthy.

    Sounds a lot better than someone going into massive debt to finance/lease a new car they can't really afford just to impress chuckleheads like OP.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Steve, Steve, Steve.

      One: if a guy I only just met asked me to get into his car that appeared haphazardly put together by hand from junk parts, I'd be immediately hesitant also. You know, that absolutely normal and expected thing called "stranger danger"?

      Second: Everyone knows ugly and cheap is better than pretty and expensive any day, excepting ladies of the night of course. I agree with that entirely.

      Delete
    2. I have a feeling OP is exaggerating on the state of the car. I see cars with different color panels all the time, but I doubt he just welded/bolted on random panels that didn't fit. It was probably an ugly beater that he just got replacement doors from a junkyard or something.

      Unless he's Mad Max or something.

      In my state, annual inspections are mandatory, so you don't see cars that are just slapped together, unless you're talking about a rat-rod at a car show or something...

      Delete
  5. I used to get women into my Camaro all the time... it was the Panny Dropper.

    It was in pristine shape, of course... and T-Tops...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Panny Dropper? Seriously?

      Delete
    2. ^ Actually, no... not seriously.

      Delete
  6. Love the title! You'll be missed, Mr. Bowie

    ReplyDelete
  7. In my mind, I see a Frankensteined car with a skeleton driver orbiting slowly around the Earth.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Somehow, I have the feeling the OP ommited some bits from the story... No matter how dickish a bloke can be, he would not drive away from a date just like that for no (justified or not) reasons. I suspect the OP did not simply hesitated, but probably scowled or utter some disparaging remarks about the car, which, in the bloke's code of honour, is one of the worse possible offense!

    Having said that, no one here saw the car, so no one can judge whether or not OP was simply picky, snobbish or acted out of a sense of self preservation!

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.