2/12/2016

Keep Waiting

Story Sent in by Melanie:

After a couple of hours into my date with Clyde at a restaurant, he informed me, "There are two types of women in this world," and he stopped there. Apparently, it was very important for me to ask him what the types were.

I bit. "What are they?"

He said, "Those who appreciate this," and then he ripped a loud fart, "and those who don't."

Ugh, it was disgusting. He ended with, "I tend to get along best with those who don't mind it. Which are you?"

Instead of answering him directly, I gathered my things and left him there. I thought my answer would be clear but he texted me that night to say, "Stilllllll waiting on an answer."

I didn't reply. He texted me every few days thereafter and then switched it to email. I routed his emails directly to my spam folder but whenever I go in to clean it, to this day, I sometimes find a "still waiting" email from him every few months. And the date was almost 10 years ago.

14 comments:

  1. This guy had his types of women wrong. All women are either bitches or sluts. Both have their advantages.

    The question you must ask yourself is: Which are you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No need to be bitter. Someday you'll let rip a foul one and the right woman will be there to huff it.

      Delete
  2. Aaaaand, this story inspired me to send passive-aggressive harassing emails to bitches/sluts I went out on dates with 10 years ago. Thanks ABCD! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Steve, I got this passive-aggressive email from you this morning, what's that all about?

      Delete
  3. My boyfriend of the time had me over for dinner and still wasn't sure how I'd react to him farting, so he excused himself to the other room to "get something". The fart he let loose would have put Moby Dick to shame for its size and sheer volume. I laughed so hard I started crying into my spaghetti while he came out red faced and sans the "something" he'd gone to get.

    We married two years later.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Married?? Whooooooooooa, WTF? I ain't no polyandrist...

      Guess she's all yours, Archie...

      Delete
    2. Oh Steve I thought you knew? It's a shame... I suppose I'll have to find another comment boyfriend. And I was about to give you all of that comment sex, too. Oh well.

      Delete
    3. But but but, KatieGirl said that anyone who reads this site is a pathetic loser who can't get a date (except her of course... perfect relationship! <3 ). Naturally this means you'd be unmarried...

      I want comment sex.... :-(

      Only 1/5 of couples have sex on Valentine's Day. This means 4/5 of couples are married...

      Delete
    4. Sigh, buy me comment dinner and I'll think about it. I take my comment dinner wh0re status very seriously you know.

      Delete
    5. Don't worry, I promise I'll comment pull out...

      Delete
    6. Damn, married. Oh well, what happens in the comments section, stays in the comments section. Bananas, I'm still DTF (Disturbingly Terrified of Fork-lifts).

      Delete
  4. Ten years? That's more committed than most marriages.

    ReplyDelete

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